Finally....

Brace yourselves.

I actually substitute taught on Friday. And by that I mean I watched kids read. Let me explain.

I didn't have high hopes of getting called in. I went to bed late Thursday night and when I was trying to sleep I was battling a dry cough- a present from mother nature after spending a few too many hours one night in the freezing smokey air of Lucky Lou's (no regrets). At 6am when I got up for water I debated getting teacher-ed up... but seriously didn't think I'd get called. I had delicious liquid lunch plans (queso + margaritas) with friends and further plans to stimulate the economy at Northpark. I won't get called in this Friday. I drank some water and went back to bed.

I remembered that Friday is the #1 workday for subs when I was awakened by my phone buzzing. It's either the sub-finder system or someone who hates me seeing as how my clock is informing me it's 7:45am.

It's the sub-finder.

Do I want to come in for middle school athletics?

I pause.

I ponder.

I play the job description again.

Athletics?... No. I really don't want to give up sleep, queso, margaritas and shopping for public school sports. I decline the job.

I know I said I would take any job. But today I have fun plans and I've only logged approximately 3 hours of sleep. And it's athletics.

I set my phone down on my nightstand.

Where it promptly buzzes immediately.

The sub-finder is determined this morning. The job is 7th grade language arts, at the middle school I did my first semester of student teaching at. There's sadly no reason not to accept this job. It's my grade level, easy subject, and I already know how to get there.

For the first time I hit #1- accept job.

Suddenly my morning became a living tornado of finding shoes and swabbing on mascara while simultaneously brushing my teeth- a juggling act I perfected in my dorm days when I tended to wake up 10 minutes before class started.

Me: (hollering down the stairs) "Mom! Please make me a lunch real quick, something that doesn't require a microwave in case I eat in the classroom!"

Mom: (pause) "That's nothing!"

Me: "Sandwich, Mom! Sandwich!"

I get ready in an impressive single digit amount of time. I grab my lunch, get in the car and zip down the highway. That early morning ended up being the most exciting part of my day.

I arrive at my school and enter a creepily barren classroom. The walls are devoid of decorations except for one awful poster:

That's pretty horrible. I can't even muster up a critique because that being the only thing on your room's walls is so awful.

Anyway,

There are no personal items on the teacher's desk. Not a single photo, knick-knack, goofy pin, letters from students- nothing! I've never seen such a desk... so empty. Usually teachers throw personality onto every possible surface. In one of my previous student teaching classrooms we even taped posters to the ceiling.

This room is like an insane asylum cell... with desks. Like learning is supposed to take place. It got weirder... I opened the desk drawer to get a pen, and this is what I found:


Ok.

That's freaky.

That lone solitary folder? Yeah. It's full of blank computer paper. Those little squares of paper in the top right? Manufacturing stickers from whoever made the desk. The side drawers of the desk were completely empty.

Besides the serial killer vibe, the day wasn't so bad. But it also wasn't so 'good.' It was straight-up boring.

The kids had the assignment to read an article (silently) and complete a worksheet (silently on their own). So basically I watched kids read and write. And I stared at the freaky poster. That kid looks unhappy...

During my conference break, a fellow substitute working across the hall came to check on me. I lamented about my boring day and he looked at me with a puzzled face.

"You're supposed to bring a book," he said- like he was telling someone the sky was blue or dogs can talk or something else super obvious.

So I did end up learning something on that sub job. Even though the substitute pool currently has a higher percentage of qualified, intelligent teachers (all waiting to find 'real' jobs) the other nitwits in the system have spoiled it for the rest of us. Teachers view having a sub as a throw-away day. Just find some idiot-proof busy work for the kids to slog through while the sub functions as a warm adult 'authority' figure who just sits all day.

And apparently reads.

Now this was only my first substituting experience, I am keeping an open mind.

We'll see how this goes.