This is the start of my last week at my long-term sub job.
I am so incredibly grateful for this job. It was a real blessing that it came my way. For six weeks I didn’t worry so much about future work because I was so absorbed in my current work. Now, the end is looming up ahead a mere four days away and the nerves are creeping back.
It is hard not to get depressed at the condition of my state’s education system. It is the worst it has ever been. Ever. We’re 10 billion dollars in debt and current projections for the 2011-2012 school year are that 1/3 of my state’s teaching positions will be cut. I don’t get into the politics of the money and the government because:
1. I know I don’t know everything.
2. Me dissecting out the situation in no way creates any change- all it does is make me feel sick.
3. Nothing is truly finalized yet. Schools won’t have the ultimate bottom line for their budgets until sometime in July or even August.
I don’t know how I could have worked any harder at this job than I have. Early mornings and late, late nights- I gave all I could. Now I can only sit back and wait to see if it was enough.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Morning Snapshots
I wanted to show everyone some of the bits of my teaching world. I know I tell about things all the time, but face it. Everybody likes pictures.
I came up with this idea on Tuesday. Unfortunately- I can't have my phone (aka camera) on me very often while I'm at school. And for some reason the past few days I couldn't seem to find things I liked/cared about enough to include. So here on Friday I'm just putting out what I have. I hope it satisfies.
It all really ended up being a walk-through of things I see on a typical morning.
I came up with this idea on Tuesday. Unfortunately- I can't have my phone (aka camera) on me very often while I'm at school. And for some reason the past few days I couldn't seem to find things I liked/cared about enough to include. So here on Friday I'm just putting out what I have. I hope it satisfies.
It all really ended up being a walk-through of things I see on a typical morning.
This is one of the first things I see every morning. On the whiteboard in the teacher's lounge is a long list of the teachers out and the substitutes in for them. For the past month and a half my name has been a permanent resident of the top of the list. I know the list isn't a leaderboard or anything but I like to think it is. Top sub!
In the teacher's lounge is the compliementary tea and coffee chart for us hardworking public servants. At the start of this week this cute note appeared on top of the tea dispenser. At least they (whoever they are, I genuinely don't know) was nice enough to draw some hearts.
One of my early morning tasks 9 times out of 10 is to go make a bunch of copies. I like to use the copier in the library rather than the one in the front office for a couple reasons. 1. A very diminished chance of running into an administrator when I still have sleepy eyes and one hand is clutching my chai while I blearly watch the machine chug out paper. 2. The Zen Garden.
It's been there since my first fall semester, always in the same copy paper lid. Sometimes it is nice when you're running off two different back to back three digit copy jobs to lean over and rake some sand around.
After making all my copies... I head to my room. Everyday we have to write our "learning goals" on the board- the ultimate objective for each lesson. Since I teach 3 different subjects, I have 3 learning goals instead of the average teacher's 1. Which means I have 15 lesson plans a week instead of 5.
These are the learning goals I had for Friday. Not particularly exciting, but a good representation of my daily work. Also- now everyone has been exposed to my terrible handwriting. I know it's awful. It has all the stereotypical flaws: Goes from really big letters at the start of the sentence to small ones at the end. I have a poor ability to visualize invisible lines on which to write my sentences, so they roll up and down like peaceful hills. And my letters, like the capital "N's" are awkwardly tilted. Bah.
Oh, and "IWBAT" stands for "I Will Be Able Too." Abbreviations are a teacher's friend.
The school announcements have gotta be loaded online everyday. Which means the files have to render into a format suitable for being on the internet. Basically what you need to take away from this is that rendering takes a long time. A loooooong time. I spend a lot of my day staring at screens that look like this:
I hope these morning picture tidbits(new favorite word) were more exciting to see than I'm thinking they were...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Team-Teaching Dreams...
I miss having a buddy.
When you’re a student teacher, you’re only part teacher (as the very name implies). You have another half- a mentor teacher. The two of you are constantly together. While in the beginning it is certainly an adjustment getting used to being around another person so closely all day; once the comfort levels have been established you can operate as a highly efficient team.
Working with my mentor teacher during the fall semester made me a HUGE advocate of the ‘team-teaching’ style.
Team-teaching is literally what it says: teachers working as team. I have heard of some schools (usually wealthier ones who can afford two adults per room) implementing team-teaching but its definitely underutilized.
With two teachers, the vast workload is halved into something feasible to handle.
Teaching encompasses two basic things: Instruction/Assessment & Classroom Management. Those aspects are never split 50/50. Never. At least not in any classroom I’ve ever been in. If you’re lucky you can maintain levels of 40% instruction, 60% classroom management.
Classroom management is a large umbrella statement for a vast range of “keeping-the-kids-focused-learning-not-imploding” strategies and techniques. Anything from a simple tap on the shoulder to silence a chatty student, to organizing assignments and breaking up bigger discipline hassles: fights, insubordination, etc.
When classroom management is being enacted, 90% of the time instruction must cease. It could be only for 15 seconds telling a student to pay attention/sit down/stop talking but it disrupts the flow of the lesson. Multiply those 15 seconds by 20 times and you’ve lost a solid 5 minutes of class. As class is only 50 minutes long- that’s a substantial loss. The worst part is honestly that’s a conservative estimation of time spent on classroom management.
With team-teaching, instruction can flow uninhibited and separately from classroom management. One teacher is engaged in the lesson, while the other is walking the room, monitoring, taking students aside, keeping them on task. Disruptions can be targeted and dissipated quickly without pausing the lesson. Both teachers avoid becoming overwhelmed with the dual tasks of achieving student comprehension and maintaining a peaceful environment.
At my long-term sub job I’ve really for the first time felt the burden of being the sole adult in a room full of 12/13 year olds. My voice has to do two things at once: teach and discipline. I’ve found it difficult to switch rapidly back and forth between the two modes. By the end of a class I felt like I’ve run a marathon.
Team-teaching has more benefits outside of actual class time. Lessons don’t come pre-packaged and ready to go. They take an enormous amount of prep work. Physically creating the: powerpoint notes, handouts, rubrics, tests, homework- plus all the work of photocopying, laminating and grading is enough to bury a teacher. Two people obviously can get twice as much done twice as fast than one person working alone.
I wish my state had enough money to make team-teaching a state-wide policy. It would have so many benefits, one being doubling the amount of teaching jobs! I understand the intense potential for conflict between teachers- sharing authority can be difficult and personality issues could abound.
Perhaps I’m jaded in a good way because I had such a great experience during student teaching. Even with the possible problems, the team-teaching benefits so outweigh anything else- for both students and teachers.
When you’re a student teacher, you’re only part teacher (as the very name implies). You have another half- a mentor teacher. The two of you are constantly together. While in the beginning it is certainly an adjustment getting used to being around another person so closely all day; once the comfort levels have been established you can operate as a highly efficient team.
Working with my mentor teacher during the fall semester made me a HUGE advocate of the ‘team-teaching’ style.
Team-teaching is literally what it says: teachers working as team. I have heard of some schools (usually wealthier ones who can afford two adults per room) implementing team-teaching but its definitely underutilized.
With two teachers, the vast workload is halved into something feasible to handle.
Teaching encompasses two basic things: Instruction/Assessment & Classroom Management. Those aspects are never split 50/50. Never. At least not in any classroom I’ve ever been in. If you’re lucky you can maintain levels of 40% instruction, 60% classroom management.
Classroom management is a large umbrella statement for a vast range of “keeping-the-kids-focused-learning-not-imploding” strategies and techniques. Anything from a simple tap on the shoulder to silence a chatty student, to organizing assignments and breaking up bigger discipline hassles: fights, insubordination, etc.
When classroom management is being enacted, 90% of the time instruction must cease. It could be only for 15 seconds telling a student to pay attention/sit down/stop talking but it disrupts the flow of the lesson. Multiply those 15 seconds by 20 times and you’ve lost a solid 5 minutes of class. As class is only 50 minutes long- that’s a substantial loss. The worst part is honestly that’s a conservative estimation of time spent on classroom management.
With team-teaching, instruction can flow uninhibited and separately from classroom management. One teacher is engaged in the lesson, while the other is walking the room, monitoring, taking students aside, keeping them on task. Disruptions can be targeted and dissipated quickly without pausing the lesson. Both teachers avoid becoming overwhelmed with the dual tasks of achieving student comprehension and maintaining a peaceful environment.
At my long-term sub job I’ve really for the first time felt the burden of being the sole adult in a room full of 12/13 year olds. My voice has to do two things at once: teach and discipline. I’ve found it difficult to switch rapidly back and forth between the two modes. By the end of a class I felt like I’ve run a marathon.
Team-teaching has more benefits outside of actual class time. Lessons don’t come pre-packaged and ready to go. They take an enormous amount of prep work. Physically creating the: powerpoint notes, handouts, rubrics, tests, homework- plus all the work of photocopying, laminating and grading is enough to bury a teacher. Two people obviously can get twice as much done twice as fast than one person working alone.
I wish my state had enough money to make team-teaching a state-wide policy. It would have so many benefits, one being doubling the amount of teaching jobs! I understand the intense potential for conflict between teachers- sharing authority can be difficult and personality issues could abound.
Perhaps I’m jaded in a good way because I had such a great experience during student teaching. Even with the possible problems, the team-teaching benefits so outweigh anything else- for both students and teachers.
Monday, March 21, 2011
C.O.O.L.
Maybe it’s the school I’m at… but I feel like middle schoolers (at least the ones I’m around) are much more “clothing experimental” than I remember being when I was 12-13. How the kids choose to make themselves look can be down right odd and they’re doing things I could never think of, let alone imagine would be trendy.
I can’t believe it took me so long to tackle this topic. It’s been rolling around in my head for awhile. I think I was worried I couldn’t do it justice. There are a bazillion (that’s right, I said ‘bazillion’ and Microsoft Word didn’t underline it in red- so it’s a real word!) different aspects to cover, so this could be really interesting… or lame. I apologize for the ‘hodge-podge’-ness but that’s me trying to get all my thoughts out.
The instigating factor for this is today I had about 10 minutes of downtime with some of my more talkative girls and they totally broke down middle school fashion for me. I’ve incorporated their input with my own observations.
I had the idea of taking pictures of my students and their ‘fashion’ (to offer a true visual representation of course) but there is really no un-creepy way to do that. One of my girls let me take a photo of her hair, but that’s all ya’ll get.
I know middle school is a time of self-discovery; the first time kids are starting to feel independent from their parents. They’re finding out their own identities, their own styles. Those styles encompass a couple of things pretty consistently.
Colored Contacts. These were not around last semester, but it seems during the weeks I’ve been subbing they are suddenly on every eyeball I see. Most kids (like one of my chatty girls) get light blue to offset their dark eyes and make them look oddly distorted. But some guys have gotten weird reflective ones that make their eyes look like a dog’s when you shine a light on them. One guy had majorly freaky ones that blocked all the color from his eye, so it was all white with a pupil. There’s nothing in the dress code about color contacts as far as I can tell. This trend is shared equally between boys and girls.
Of all the fashion trends, I think make-up is the one that echoes my own middle school days the most. The standard for girls is still a raccoon. What a revered creature for young girls. Goal: as much black eyeliner and mascara around one’s eyeballs as much as possible. Combo that with the colored contacts and you’re good to go.
If you want to know a middle schooler’s interests, favorite color, etc- look at their arms. Like a myspace/facebook profile, their arms are covered in everything about them. Popular items include:
- Silly Bandz. These are flimsy little rainbow colored rubber bracelets that pop into any shape imaginable- a flower, dinosaur (that one is coveted- especially if it glows in the dark), a cat, a heart, whatever. They’re dying in popularity, thank goodness. Back in the fall semester, we used to bust kids selling them in the bathroom like drugs.
- “I <3 Boobies.” This is a popular bracelet sold by some organization (I honestly don’t know who) to raise money for breast cancer something-or-other. It’s really wide and thick, made of rubber and comes in every possible color. I’m pretty sure this bracelet was banned for the ‘boobies’ word (ridiculous), but if that’s true no one is enforcing it.
- Then there are a medley of assorted things. Plastic admittance bands from Six Flags, random pieces of string or yarn, the other standard rubber bracelets from any sports brand, and all the possible pseudo-surfer/prep bracelets from the interchangeable American Eagle/PacSun/Holliser/Aeropostale.
Any bare space on an arm is then filled in with doodles. Kids write all the standards; “I love _insert crush of the week_,” their own name, the Superman ‘S’ or just a ton of hearts and squiggles.
Converse are mandatory in middle school. I can have 25 kids in a class and I’ll see 15 different pairs of Chucks. I guess there is a memo when you get here in 6th grade- “Go by Converse… in many colors.” I say kudos to Chuck Taylor for selling all those shoes, though I bet he didn’t envision this is how his namesake would end up. Supplementing Converse are shoe laces. Heaven forbid if you left the shoelaces that came with the shoes in those eyelets. You’d be shunned. Some kids have only one or two pairs of sneakers, but clearly they have at least 10 sets of shoelaces. Glittery, ribbons, every bright color, printed with skulls, polka dots- whatever. Just not white.
Things Middle School “Gangsters” Use to Make Themselves Look…. “Gangster”:
- Anything that would be totally normal for a five year old.
Examples: Sesame Street t-shirts, tiny Barbie or Spongebob backpacks and different colored socks for each foot.
- A pair of jeans or khakis (preferably dickies) that must be worn either slouched under the butt cheeks (to display the power rangers or Corona boxers) or with the pants highly starched and aggressively cuffed above the sneakers.
- Rosaries as necklaces. Actually, these have been flat-out banned at my school because of the gang ties. Sometimes you can still catch a guy with one under his shirt, but the hammers come down pretty hard on rosaries.
- Hair gel. Copious amounts. The two options are complete opposites:
o Spiked up in gravity defying spears that glisten in the florescent light.
o Slicked back flat to the skull in an impenetrable intimidating hair-helmet.
I’ve overwhelmingly noticed hair has become vital to one’s ‘look.’ Apparently with hair- more equals awesome. More, that is, in the timeless style of “emo.” I looked up the definition of the word emo. Emo: overly emotional or melodramatic. I’ve heard it thrown around a lot to describe everything from someone who wears all black, to suicidal tendencies to now- a hairstyle. One of my students happily declared she has ‘perfect emo hair’ and she let me take a picture.
Her hair has no distinguishable part, and most of it is swept forward so it covers her eyes and face. I have no idea what that girl’s forehead looks like. A mandatory aspect of the hairstyle is a useless ponytail that serves no discernable purpose. And of course- dye your hair black or at the very least dark brown- that does without saying.
When I was being enlightened by my female students, I made the dreadful mistake of remarking something was “cool.” The girls all laughed and shared looks. “Miss Martin doesn’t know what ‘cool’ means!” one of them, (I’ll call her… Zettie) declared triumphantly, like she’d exposed I was an alien.
Me: Ok. My bad. So what does ‘cool’ mean now?
Zettie: Alright, I’ll break it down. Cool means: Conservated. Overrated. Overweight. Loser.
Yeah.
You read right.
That’s what cool now stands for.
“A three year old told me that even!” Zettie says to reinforce my stupidity. I told her “conservated” was not a word. I asked her twice how to spell it. We googled it and looked it up in the good ol’ websters, ('conservated' does not exist) and she just declared “Whatevs, it means something to me!” and laughed.
At this point the bell rang and Zettie and her friends swept off to the rest of their day. I was kind of impressed a girl who can’t remember to come to class on time has a four word acronym memorized.
I’m sure my teachers looked at me and my 12 year old peers with the same head-tilted-like-a-dog-who-hears-an-odd-noise expression and tried to understand.
I can’t believe it took me so long to tackle this topic. It’s been rolling around in my head for awhile. I think I was worried I couldn’t do it justice. There are a bazillion (that’s right, I said ‘bazillion’ and Microsoft Word didn’t underline it in red- so it’s a real word!) different aspects to cover, so this could be really interesting… or lame. I apologize for the ‘hodge-podge’-ness but that’s me trying to get all my thoughts out.
The instigating factor for this is today I had about 10 minutes of downtime with some of my more talkative girls and they totally broke down middle school fashion for me. I’ve incorporated their input with my own observations.
I had the idea of taking pictures of my students and their ‘fashion’ (to offer a true visual representation of course) but there is really no un-creepy way to do that. One of my girls let me take a photo of her hair, but that’s all ya’ll get.
I know middle school is a time of self-discovery; the first time kids are starting to feel independent from their parents. They’re finding out their own identities, their own styles. Those styles encompass a couple of things pretty consistently.
Colored Contacts. These were not around last semester, but it seems during the weeks I’ve been subbing they are suddenly on every eyeball I see. Most kids (like one of my chatty girls) get light blue to offset their dark eyes and make them look oddly distorted. But some guys have gotten weird reflective ones that make their eyes look like a dog’s when you shine a light on them. One guy had majorly freaky ones that blocked all the color from his eye, so it was all white with a pupil. There’s nothing in the dress code about color contacts as far as I can tell. This trend is shared equally between boys and girls.
Of all the fashion trends, I think make-up is the one that echoes my own middle school days the most. The standard for girls is still a raccoon. What a revered creature for young girls. Goal: as much black eyeliner and mascara around one’s eyeballs as much as possible. Combo that with the colored contacts and you’re good to go.
If you want to know a middle schooler’s interests, favorite color, etc- look at their arms. Like a myspace/facebook profile, their arms are covered in everything about them. Popular items include:
- Silly Bandz. These are flimsy little rainbow colored rubber bracelets that pop into any shape imaginable- a flower, dinosaur (that one is coveted- especially if it glows in the dark), a cat, a heart, whatever. They’re dying in popularity, thank goodness. Back in the fall semester, we used to bust kids selling them in the bathroom like drugs.
- “I <3 Boobies.” This is a popular bracelet sold by some organization (I honestly don’t know who) to raise money for breast cancer something-or-other. It’s really wide and thick, made of rubber and comes in every possible color. I’m pretty sure this bracelet was banned for the ‘boobies’ word (ridiculous), but if that’s true no one is enforcing it.
- Then there are a medley of assorted things. Plastic admittance bands from Six Flags, random pieces of string or yarn, the other standard rubber bracelets from any sports brand, and all the possible pseudo-surfer/prep bracelets from the interchangeable American Eagle/PacSun/Holliser/Aeropostale.
Any bare space on an arm is then filled in with doodles. Kids write all the standards; “I love _insert crush of the week_,” their own name, the Superman ‘S’ or just a ton of hearts and squiggles.
Converse are mandatory in middle school. I can have 25 kids in a class and I’ll see 15 different pairs of Chucks. I guess there is a memo when you get here in 6th grade- “Go by Converse… in many colors.” I say kudos to Chuck Taylor for selling all those shoes, though I bet he didn’t envision this is how his namesake would end up. Supplementing Converse are shoe laces. Heaven forbid if you left the shoelaces that came with the shoes in those eyelets. You’d be shunned. Some kids have only one or two pairs of sneakers, but clearly they have at least 10 sets of shoelaces. Glittery, ribbons, every bright color, printed with skulls, polka dots- whatever. Just not white.
Things Middle School “Gangsters” Use to Make Themselves Look…. “Gangster”:
- Anything that would be totally normal for a five year old.
Examples: Sesame Street t-shirts, tiny Barbie or Spongebob backpacks and different colored socks for each foot.
- A pair of jeans or khakis (preferably dickies) that must be worn either slouched under the butt cheeks (to display the power rangers or Corona boxers) or with the pants highly starched and aggressively cuffed above the sneakers.
- Rosaries as necklaces. Actually, these have been flat-out banned at my school because of the gang ties. Sometimes you can still catch a guy with one under his shirt, but the hammers come down pretty hard on rosaries.
- Hair gel. Copious amounts. The two options are complete opposites:
o Spiked up in gravity defying spears that glisten in the florescent light.
o Slicked back flat to the skull in an impenetrable intimidating hair-helmet.
I’ve overwhelmingly noticed hair has become vital to one’s ‘look.’ Apparently with hair- more equals awesome. More, that is, in the timeless style of “emo.” I looked up the definition of the word emo. Emo: overly emotional or melodramatic. I’ve heard it thrown around a lot to describe everything from someone who wears all black, to suicidal tendencies to now- a hairstyle. One of my students happily declared she has ‘perfect emo hair’ and she let me take a picture.
Her hair has no distinguishable part, and most of it is swept forward so it covers her eyes and face. I have no idea what that girl’s forehead looks like. A mandatory aspect of the hairstyle is a useless ponytail that serves no discernable purpose. And of course- dye your hair black or at the very least dark brown- that does without saying.
When I was being enlightened by my female students, I made the dreadful mistake of remarking something was “cool.” The girls all laughed and shared looks. “Miss Martin doesn’t know what ‘cool’ means!” one of them, (I’ll call her… Zettie) declared triumphantly, like she’d exposed I was an alien.
Me: Ok. My bad. So what does ‘cool’ mean now?
Zettie: Alright, I’ll break it down. Cool means: Conservated. Overrated. Overweight. Loser.
Yeah.
You read right.
That’s what cool now stands for.
“A three year old told me that even!” Zettie says to reinforce my stupidity. I told her “conservated” was not a word. I asked her twice how to spell it. We googled it and looked it up in the good ol’ websters, ('conservated' does not exist) and she just declared “Whatevs, it means something to me!” and laughed.
At this point the bell rang and Zettie and her friends swept off to the rest of their day. I was kind of impressed a girl who can’t remember to come to class on time has a four word acronym memorized.
I’m sure my teachers looked at me and my 12 year old peers with the same head-tilted-like-a-dog-who-hears-an-odd-noise expression and tried to understand.
A Teaching Trilogy...
I believe my teaching career (at least the beginning) is a trilogy of sorts. And
being this is a blog, I'm breaking my trilogy down into three titles.
“Both Sides of the Desk”- student teaching
“Not My Own Desk Yet”- substituting
“My First Desk”- fo' real teaching- (not perfect... makes it seems like I'm jumping back to kindergarten... ‘My 1st Desk,’ I mean first teacher-grown-up desk!)
Those could be book titles. Hmmm...
I think to write a book, (definitely bookS) you have to feel what you have to say deserves to be preserved and distributed to the world. Mostly I feel like I'm just whining a lot, though I try to be objective, receptive and full of inner-outer perspective. With a side of cheesy stupid wordplay.
I'm continually surprised anyone reads anything I write. When I blog, it feels like I'm writing something down, putting it into an envelope- then tying the envelope to a balloon and releasing it into the sky. Will anyone ever see my words?
If I was going to write a book, I feel (I have a lot of feelings today!) I'd have to be very disciplined about the whole endeavor and not treat the daunting task casually. I'd make a writing schedule and hassle people for grammar checks at regular intervals.
In short- I would totally suck the fun out of the whole experience of writing life down. I love the blog set-up; very 'go with the flow,' write things down as they happen. I don't think, at least at this point in my life, I could sit down for hours+ and churn out large chunks of stories. I'd lose the "realness." I spend a lot of time with my blog entries before I post them... and half the things I write get reread, reread and then deleted.
If I allow my life to simply happen and I continue to document it as I go- I see no reason why I couldn't go back, tweak the whole thing (and fill in the start of student teaching I missed by starting "both sides" a month and a half before I graduated) and call it a book. Whether anyone would actually pay money for my words is the true dilemna haha
Besides... I can't set out to write my teaching trilogy yet. A teaching ‘duo’ doesn’t sound as good. I haven't got my own teacher-grown-up desk. I don't know how the story ends!
being this is a blog, I'm breaking my trilogy down into three titles.
“Both Sides of the Desk”- student teaching
“Not My Own Desk Yet”- substituting
“My First Desk”- fo' real teaching- (not perfect... makes it seems like I'm jumping back to kindergarten... ‘My 1st Desk,’ I mean first teacher-grown-up desk!)
Those could be book titles. Hmmm...
I think to write a book, (definitely bookS) you have to feel what you have to say deserves to be preserved and distributed to the world. Mostly I feel like I'm just whining a lot, though I try to be objective, receptive and full of inner-outer perspective. With a side of cheesy stupid wordplay.
I'm continually surprised anyone reads anything I write. When I blog, it feels like I'm writing something down, putting it into an envelope- then tying the envelope to a balloon and releasing it into the sky. Will anyone ever see my words?
If I was going to write a book, I feel (I have a lot of feelings today!) I'd have to be very disciplined about the whole endeavor and not treat the daunting task casually. I'd make a writing schedule and hassle people for grammar checks at regular intervals.
In short- I would totally suck the fun out of the whole experience of writing life down. I love the blog set-up; very 'go with the flow,' write things down as they happen. I don't think, at least at this point in my life, I could sit down for hours+ and churn out large chunks of stories. I'd lose the "realness." I spend a lot of time with my blog entries before I post them... and half the things I write get reread, reread and then deleted.
If I allow my life to simply happen and I continue to document it as I go- I see no reason why I couldn't go back, tweak the whole thing (and fill in the start of student teaching I missed by starting "both sides" a month and a half before I graduated) and call it a book. Whether anyone would actually pay money for my words is the true dilemna haha
Besides... I can't set out to write my teaching trilogy yet. A teaching ‘duo’ doesn’t sound as good. I haven't got my own teacher-grown-up desk. I don't know how the story ends!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Keep Calm and Carry On
The title of this post "Keep Calm and Carry On" comes from that phrase which was used by the British during WWII as a morale booster. It was printed on posters.... but then never really got out there. In the early 2000s, the slogan was rediscovered and a new generation took it to heart. I'm working from it now!
My long-term sub job concludes on April 1st... no joke. That Friday will be my last day of that steady work.
I'm trying really hard not to freak out.
I know I'm the type of person who likes to have control. I'm perfectly happy if I know what I'm doing a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. I love schedules and routines. Being a substitute has a been a long lesson of me learning to let go of control. I think God is probably doing that on purpose to teach me patience. Sometimes I want to shake my hands at the sky and say "I get it! Lesson learned! Can I have a full-time job now!?" ....but being impatient about finishing learning the lesson on patience seems ironic and pointless... and won't get me closer to the end.
I've used the emptiness of the Spring Break days to spend a solid half day hitting up every school districts' website within 40 miles of me. Over and over and over again I saw some variation of this little delightful blurb:
No teaching jobs. No openings for subs.
*sigh*
I can be okay with not getting a full-time teaching job for the fall. I can continue to sub and pray and look for a job. I say "can" be okay because I have to hurtle over 2 things:
My own pride- I worked so hard in school (I'm good at school!) and finished college a year and a half early with honors. So I had the mindset that I would graduate and find a job just as quickly and effectively. But I know I'm not alone in my unemployed demographic... the jobs simply aren't out there right now. It doesn't reflect my abilities. The jobs just aren't there.
Desire for independence- I'm currently living at home with my parents. I could afford to live on my own right now... but I would be pulling out more money from my savings than I would be putting in. Living on my own is not worth that continual financial drain to me. My parents are wonderful, and there is no shame to staying with them. So I tell myself. I'm currently still supposed to be in college, so so what if I'm staying here while I work to get a salaried position? My mom cooks amazing yummy food and my dad can fix anything and everything. I've got it good.
All I need is one job. :) Even though my state is having some serious struggles with the education system, all I need is one job. And I AM okay with the "waiting" game till I find a full time position. Everything is going to be alright.
Deep breaths.
My long-term sub job concludes on April 1st... no joke. That Friday will be my last day of that steady work.
I'm trying really hard not to freak out.
I know I'm the type of person who likes to have control. I'm perfectly happy if I know what I'm doing a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. I love schedules and routines. Being a substitute has a been a long lesson of me learning to let go of control. I think God is probably doing that on purpose to teach me patience. Sometimes I want to shake my hands at the sky and say "I get it! Lesson learned! Can I have a full-time job now!?" ....but being impatient about finishing learning the lesson on patience seems ironic and pointless... and won't get me closer to the end.
I've used the emptiness of the Spring Break days to spend a solid half day hitting up every school districts' website within 40 miles of me. Over and over and over again I saw some variation of this little delightful blurb:
No teaching jobs. No openings for subs.
*sigh*
I can be okay with not getting a full-time teaching job for the fall. I can continue to sub and pray and look for a job. I say "can" be okay because I have to hurtle over 2 things:
My own pride- I worked so hard in school (I'm good at school!) and finished college a year and a half early with honors. So I had the mindset that I would graduate and find a job just as quickly and effectively. But I know I'm not alone in my unemployed demographic... the jobs simply aren't out there right now. It doesn't reflect my abilities. The jobs just aren't there.
Desire for independence- I'm currently living at home with my parents. I could afford to live on my own right now... but I would be pulling out more money from my savings than I would be putting in. Living on my own is not worth that continual financial drain to me. My parents are wonderful, and there is no shame to staying with them. So I tell myself. I'm currently still supposed to be in college, so so what if I'm staying here while I work to get a salaried position? My mom cooks amazing yummy food and my dad can fix anything and everything. I've got it good.
All I need is one job. :) Even though my state is having some serious struggles with the education system, all I need is one job. And I AM okay with the "waiting" game till I find a full time position. Everything is going to be alright.
Deep breaths.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Teacher's 'Help Currency'
A school is like its own little society, separate and autonomous. Like a country.
We have our own laws and day-to-day structure of activities. But no currency… no formal one anyway. Teachers do have their own informal barter system of favors.
It took me awhile to catch on to the system. I found myself adapting and using the process before I was even aware of my actions. This week though, with all the craziness before Spring Break, the system has been in overdrive and I thought I’d think out/write down the details.
I tried to think of a clever name for the currency and failed pretty intensely.
My ideas were:
- Teacher Barter System (TBS)- no. That’s a TV station that is basically the Tyler Perry network.
- Teacher Trade Currency (TTC)- no. I feel like that sounds like an STD. “Aw man, I got TTC, gotta get that stupid shot in my butt.”
- Teacher Favor Exchange- no. Too oddly sexual.
Forget it. The system doesn’t need a catchy name. Moving on.
Education is a team sport. True, it’s just you in the classroom but the whole process of successfully putting knowledge into kid’s heads takes a village. Teachers are always in communication with each other and requesting/giving help. Different items of ‘help currency’ carry different levels of weight.
Lower Level
- Borrowing Stuff.
Sometimes teachers endeavor to have their students do an activity for which they require extra “stuff.” Maybe every student needs their own pair of scissors or a red pen. These items can be collected from other teachers as a small favor. Most teams/departments (ex: Social Studies, Math, Fine Arts) are in a constant state of fluidity with stuff drifting from class to class.
- Acts of Convenience.
There are a million little tasks for teachers to complete every day. Acts of Convenience are when another teacher is going to doing something anyway and you ask them to go ahead and do your task too. Examples: checking your box in the teacher’s lounge, picking up completed copies from the copy aide or dropping off a book at the library. These little favors are the bread and butter of the barter system; the most utilized.
- They Were With Me.
Sometimes you need to keep a student for a few minutes after class. This can be because of any number of reasons: discussing a grade, re-explaining an assignment, or working through some discipline. Either way, the result is the student missing the beginning of their next class. Teachers take attendance promptly at the start of each class; it’s a good way to get kids settled and quiet. So no doubt your student you kept back a few minutes has now been marked absent. No big deal; you write the student a pass, send an e-mail to the teacher, or make a quick phone call: “They were with me.” Fine. Every teacher understands. But now they have to re-open attendance, change the Absent to Present and re-post roll. Sounds simple, but it takes almost a minute and in that time you can lose the focus of a class, plus add in the distraction of the kid coming in late- stopping whatever was going on. If you do this multiple times to a particular teacher… you’re going to owe them for the hassle.
Medium Level
- Can You Keep an Eye on Them?
I heard somewhere that flight attendants and teachers have the highest incidents of bladder infections. It’s because we never have time to pee. There are 4 minutes between passing periods. Once you factor in getting the previous class out the door (collecting papers, giving homework, finalizing disciple issues), getting ready for the next class (organizing papers to be handed out, setting up notes/bellwork, cleaning the board) and add in our responsibility to monitor the hallways during the passing period for student mischief… those 4 minutes fly by with not a spare second to dash all the way down the hall to get some bladder relief. So we rely on other teachers in our hallway. A quick watch glance, make eye contact with your teacher across the hall, and then the question: “Can you keep an eye on them for a minute?” And then you hustle to the bathroom in your glorious bonus minute. Now you owe your neighboring public servant the same favor. And it’s also impolite to ask them to “keep an eye” again until they have asked you for that favor. You have to take turns.
- Available Aides.
At my school, 8th graders can sign up to be a Student Aide during one of their elective periods. Most of the time aides are decently helpful. They can grade worksheets, cut stuff out, in general help with the busy work that sucks the life out of teachers. Aide labor is popular currency. At least once a day a mass e-mail goes out that only contains a subject line: “Anyone have aides I can borrow during __insert class period__??”. You get credit for helping if you send your aide. Sometimes teachers try to cultivate favor by sending out this mass e-mail, “I have a free aide during __insert class period__ who wants them?” And then three minutes later my inbox chimes as it receives the follow-up “Aide Taken!” e-mail.
Highest Level
- Cutting in the Laminate Line.
We have a singular laminate machine that takes any paper and seals it between sheets of plastic to make it slightly more durable against the hands of middle schoolers. With only one laminate machine, when a teacher lets you cut in line to laminate your 50 pieces of paper you need for tomorrow, it’s a favor to remember.
- Helping Un-jam the Copy Machine.
The copy machine is completely vital to teaching, almost embarrassingly so. It’s a complex piece of large machinery that can copy, hole punch, staple, make packets, make things double-sided, one-sided… it makes the education world spin ‘round. The result of these intricate processes is the copy machine innards are a twisted series of labyrinths beyond the average human's understanding. And paper can get stuck literally anywhere inside that thing. I once saw a copy machine jammed in 13 places. Any teacher willing to take time out of their day to sit at the machine and stick their hands into the hot inky depths to yank out scraps of your kid’s worksheets, you owe big time.
- FIGHT.
I’ve been on all sides of this super fun situation. When a teacher has a fight break out in their room, they become suddenly very dependent on other teachers. There are several different ways teachers can help:
-Calling or running to get an assistant principal or the in-school police officer.
-Physically helping to pull apart (and keep apart) the fighters.
-Watching/controlling the rest of the class while the fighters are escorted out.
Fights are great bonding experiences for teachers. Everyone has a good fight story and you always want to be a productive character in their tale, not the useless person who didn’t help. Always step in and help in a fight situation if you can, because odds are you’re going to need your own additional referees at some point in your teaching career.
The core of the barter system is the fact that teachers have an uncanny ability to “keep score.” I mean keeping score in the nicest way possible. I’ll explain.
Teachers have fabulous memories. We have at least 120+ students just in our own classes and we can remember their first and last names, handwriting and voices. Add in multiple assignments, learning goals, lesson plans, assignment modifications, grades and homework- teachers’ brains are always operating at max “remember this” capacity. Our talented memories are what allow us to keep score.
The system functions best as teachers keep track of who owes them a favor, or who they are unquestionably obligated to help next time they’re asked. It’s not at all that teachers won’t assist someone they don’t owe a favor- I’ve definitely picked up on the mentality of the staff that “we’re all in this together” and we do what we can for each other. When I say teachers “keep score,” I don’t mean with points or that someone is winning by helping more. It just goes down like this:
‘Hmmm… this particular teacher picked up my copies for me yesterday. I’ll stop by their room and ask if they need me to grab anything from the lounge, since I’m on my way already.’
‘This teacher let me borrow two dozen mini whiteboards last week, so I’m cool with them asking to borrow my entire stock of glue sticks.’
'I'll sit here and cut out 50 laminated vocabulary words with you during my conference period and not resent it because you helped me cut out my whole new unit's bulletin board two days ago.'
That’s how the system flows. The swapping of favors keeps people feeling like things are fair and I think keeps one’s overall mood pleasant. It’s okay that you need something from me… because eventually I’m going to need something too. If no one ever wanted to help each other, the whole atmosphere and productivity of the school would suffer.
The system is in overdrive because it’s almost Spring Break and teachers are going a little bit crazy. Grades are due Friday, so there are tons of students being kept after class to talk about their scores. The “They Were With Me” e-mails are flying around as a result, along with lots of “I Need an Aide!” e-mails as the different teacher sponsors of school organizations scramble with bureaucratic overload to get things done before the break.
I kind of like the craziness… its like the whole staff is holding each other up as we strive to make it to Spring Break in one piece.
We have our own laws and day-to-day structure of activities. But no currency… no formal one anyway. Teachers do have their own informal barter system of favors.
It took me awhile to catch on to the system. I found myself adapting and using the process before I was even aware of my actions. This week though, with all the craziness before Spring Break, the system has been in overdrive and I thought I’d think out/write down the details.
I tried to think of a clever name for the currency and failed pretty intensely.
My ideas were:
- Teacher Barter System (TBS)- no. That’s a TV station that is basically the Tyler Perry network.
- Teacher Trade Currency (TTC)- no. I feel like that sounds like an STD. “Aw man, I got TTC, gotta get that stupid shot in my butt.”
- Teacher Favor Exchange- no. Too oddly sexual.
Forget it. The system doesn’t need a catchy name. Moving on.
Education is a team sport. True, it’s just you in the classroom but the whole process of successfully putting knowledge into kid’s heads takes a village. Teachers are always in communication with each other and requesting/giving help. Different items of ‘help currency’ carry different levels of weight.
Lower Level
- Borrowing Stuff.
Sometimes teachers endeavor to have their students do an activity for which they require extra “stuff.” Maybe every student needs their own pair of scissors or a red pen. These items can be collected from other teachers as a small favor. Most teams/departments (ex: Social Studies, Math, Fine Arts) are in a constant state of fluidity with stuff drifting from class to class.
- Acts of Convenience.
There are a million little tasks for teachers to complete every day. Acts of Convenience are when another teacher is going to doing something anyway and you ask them to go ahead and do your task too. Examples: checking your box in the teacher’s lounge, picking up completed copies from the copy aide or dropping off a book at the library. These little favors are the bread and butter of the barter system; the most utilized.
- They Were With Me.
Sometimes you need to keep a student for a few minutes after class. This can be because of any number of reasons: discussing a grade, re-explaining an assignment, or working through some discipline. Either way, the result is the student missing the beginning of their next class. Teachers take attendance promptly at the start of each class; it’s a good way to get kids settled and quiet. So no doubt your student you kept back a few minutes has now been marked absent. No big deal; you write the student a pass, send an e-mail to the teacher, or make a quick phone call: “They were with me.” Fine. Every teacher understands. But now they have to re-open attendance, change the Absent to Present and re-post roll. Sounds simple, but it takes almost a minute and in that time you can lose the focus of a class, plus add in the distraction of the kid coming in late- stopping whatever was going on. If you do this multiple times to a particular teacher… you’re going to owe them for the hassle.
Medium Level
- Can You Keep an Eye on Them?
I heard somewhere that flight attendants and teachers have the highest incidents of bladder infections. It’s because we never have time to pee. There are 4 minutes between passing periods. Once you factor in getting the previous class out the door (collecting papers, giving homework, finalizing disciple issues), getting ready for the next class (organizing papers to be handed out, setting up notes/bellwork, cleaning the board) and add in our responsibility to monitor the hallways during the passing period for student mischief… those 4 minutes fly by with not a spare second to dash all the way down the hall to get some bladder relief. So we rely on other teachers in our hallway. A quick watch glance, make eye contact with your teacher across the hall, and then the question: “Can you keep an eye on them for a minute?” And then you hustle to the bathroom in your glorious bonus minute. Now you owe your neighboring public servant the same favor. And it’s also impolite to ask them to “keep an eye” again until they have asked you for that favor. You have to take turns.
- Available Aides.
At my school, 8th graders can sign up to be a Student Aide during one of their elective periods. Most of the time aides are decently helpful. They can grade worksheets, cut stuff out, in general help with the busy work that sucks the life out of teachers. Aide labor is popular currency. At least once a day a mass e-mail goes out that only contains a subject line: “Anyone have aides I can borrow during __insert class period__??”. You get credit for helping if you send your aide. Sometimes teachers try to cultivate favor by sending out this mass e-mail, “I have a free aide during __insert class period__ who wants them?” And then three minutes later my inbox chimes as it receives the follow-up “Aide Taken!” e-mail.
Highest Level
- Cutting in the Laminate Line.
We have a singular laminate machine that takes any paper and seals it between sheets of plastic to make it slightly more durable against the hands of middle schoolers. With only one laminate machine, when a teacher lets you cut in line to laminate your 50 pieces of paper you need for tomorrow, it’s a favor to remember.
- Helping Un-jam the Copy Machine.
The copy machine is completely vital to teaching, almost embarrassingly so. It’s a complex piece of large machinery that can copy, hole punch, staple, make packets, make things double-sided, one-sided… it makes the education world spin ‘round. The result of these intricate processes is the copy machine innards are a twisted series of labyrinths beyond the average human's understanding. And paper can get stuck literally anywhere inside that thing. I once saw a copy machine jammed in 13 places. Any teacher willing to take time out of their day to sit at the machine and stick their hands into the hot inky depths to yank out scraps of your kid’s worksheets, you owe big time.
- FIGHT.
I’ve been on all sides of this super fun situation. When a teacher has a fight break out in their room, they become suddenly very dependent on other teachers. There are several different ways teachers can help:
-Calling or running to get an assistant principal or the in-school police officer.
-Physically helping to pull apart (and keep apart) the fighters.
-Watching/controlling the rest of the class while the fighters are escorted out.
Fights are great bonding experiences for teachers. Everyone has a good fight story and you always want to be a productive character in their tale, not the useless person who didn’t help. Always step in and help in a fight situation if you can, because odds are you’re going to need your own additional referees at some point in your teaching career.
The core of the barter system is the fact that teachers have an uncanny ability to “keep score.” I mean keeping score in the nicest way possible. I’ll explain.
Teachers have fabulous memories. We have at least 120+ students just in our own classes and we can remember their first and last names, handwriting and voices. Add in multiple assignments, learning goals, lesson plans, assignment modifications, grades and homework- teachers’ brains are always operating at max “remember this” capacity. Our talented memories are what allow us to keep score.
The system functions best as teachers keep track of who owes them a favor, or who they are unquestionably obligated to help next time they’re asked. It’s not at all that teachers won’t assist someone they don’t owe a favor- I’ve definitely picked up on the mentality of the staff that “we’re all in this together” and we do what we can for each other. When I say teachers “keep score,” I don’t mean with points or that someone is winning by helping more. It just goes down like this:
‘Hmmm… this particular teacher picked up my copies for me yesterday. I’ll stop by their room and ask if they need me to grab anything from the lounge, since I’m on my way already.’
‘This teacher let me borrow two dozen mini whiteboards last week, so I’m cool with them asking to borrow my entire stock of glue sticks.’
'I'll sit here and cut out 50 laminated vocabulary words with you during my conference period and not resent it because you helped me cut out my whole new unit's bulletin board two days ago.'
That’s how the system flows. The swapping of favors keeps people feeling like things are fair and I think keeps one’s overall mood pleasant. It’s okay that you need something from me… because eventually I’m going to need something too. If no one ever wanted to help each other, the whole atmosphere and productivity of the school would suffer.
The system is in overdrive because it’s almost Spring Break and teachers are going a little bit crazy. Grades are due Friday, so there are tons of students being kept after class to talk about their scores. The “They Were With Me” e-mails are flying around as a result, along with lots of “I Need an Aide!” e-mails as the different teacher sponsors of school organizations scramble with bureaucratic overload to get things done before the break.
I kind of like the craziness… its like the whole staff is holding each other up as we strive to make it to Spring Break in one piece.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Flamingo Shmagino
As I sit here at my desk, I’m pretty sure that’s an intense epic Lord of the Rings style battle going on inside my body. My immune system is dressed in splendid armor, with back up cavalry of vitamin C and sheer determination… clashing against the disgusting disfigured Orcs of sickness courtesy of my students’ snotty hands and wet exploding coughs.
That’s probably the nerdiest depiction of “I think I’m coming down with something” ever and I don’t even really like LOTR. That’s just how I picture my innards defending themselves. Meanwhile I have a fever, sore throat and foggy head.
Today hasn’t been too bad- of all the days to feel sicky this is one of the best. I don’t have to teach much. My Speech classes are giving presentations all day, so I just have to face forward and write all over a rubric. Normally, (I say normally but it hardly EVER happens) I get out of school at 4:05 so I could potentially be in bed resting in a weary coma as soon as 5-ish.
Ooooohh but today.
Today my Media students are staying after school to film a movie project. It’s about zombies and they love it. Of course they love it, they don’t have to do anything but cover themselves in fake blood and run around the school after hours screaming and/or crawling around as the living dead. Meanwhile I do everything else. There are endless logistics to such a large activity. Most of the time I truly don’t mind taking it all on- I love how happy the kids get and I want to foster their creativity. But today… I’d rather be at home.
This week has had some bright spots. My Speech classes presentations are supposed to be a visual demonstration. One student made balloon animals. The one for her final presentation is below.
Clearly it’s a dog. Albeit with a rather freakishly long tail, but still. It’s a balloon representation of a canine, that’s decently obvious.
Now. The other kids in the class were fascinated by the concept of balloon animals. One boy (I’ll call him… Gonzo) borrowed the pump and a balloon.
Gonzo: Miss, what’s your favorite animal?
Me: A flamingo.
Gonzo proceeded to work oddly intensely on trying to make me a flamingo. I got distracted by some other kids and forgot about him to be honest.
But ten minutes later, Gonzo appears at my side. His hands are behind his back. He’s got that “salesman” face that students put on right before they try to convince me to buy a raffle ticket for some organization or try to induce me into believing they need another day for the project that’s due… now.
Gonzo: Miss… I’m not very good at balloon animals.
Me: That’s ok. How did making the flamingo go?
Gonzo: Um…
He sheepishly presented my “flamingo.”
I had to laugh. A lot.
Me: Did it come apart?
Gonzo: It was never together.
Me: Call it abstract art. An abstract flamingo.
Gonzo kind of waggled the poor balloon around with an overly toothy grin.
Gonzo: It’s an abstract flamingo, Miss!
Me: I love it!
Gonzo: Abstractly?
Me: No, for reals.
Gonzo: Ok.
And now I’m the proud owner of the best balloon flamingo I’ve ever seen. ….because it’s the only one I’ve ever seen. Flamingo shmagino.
That’s probably the nerdiest depiction of “I think I’m coming down with something” ever and I don’t even really like LOTR. That’s just how I picture my innards defending themselves. Meanwhile I have a fever, sore throat and foggy head.
Today hasn’t been too bad- of all the days to feel sicky this is one of the best. I don’t have to teach much. My Speech classes are giving presentations all day, so I just have to face forward and write all over a rubric. Normally, (I say normally but it hardly EVER happens) I get out of school at 4:05 so I could potentially be in bed resting in a weary coma as soon as 5-ish.
Ooooohh but today.
Today my Media students are staying after school to film a movie project. It’s about zombies and they love it. Of course they love it, they don’t have to do anything but cover themselves in fake blood and run around the school after hours screaming and/or crawling around as the living dead. Meanwhile I do everything else. There are endless logistics to such a large activity. Most of the time I truly don’t mind taking it all on- I love how happy the kids get and I want to foster their creativity. But today… I’d rather be at home.
This week has had some bright spots. My Speech classes presentations are supposed to be a visual demonstration. One student made balloon animals. The one for her final presentation is below.
Clearly it’s a dog. Albeit with a rather freakishly long tail, but still. It’s a balloon representation of a canine, that’s decently obvious.
Now. The other kids in the class were fascinated by the concept of balloon animals. One boy (I’ll call him… Gonzo) borrowed the pump and a balloon.
Gonzo: Miss, what’s your favorite animal?
Me: A flamingo.
Gonzo proceeded to work oddly intensely on trying to make me a flamingo. I got distracted by some other kids and forgot about him to be honest.
But ten minutes later, Gonzo appears at my side. His hands are behind his back. He’s got that “salesman” face that students put on right before they try to convince me to buy a raffle ticket for some organization or try to induce me into believing they need another day for the project that’s due… now.
Gonzo: Miss… I’m not very good at balloon animals.
Me: That’s ok. How did making the flamingo go?
Gonzo: Um…
He sheepishly presented my “flamingo.”
I had to laugh. A lot.
Me: Did it come apart?
Gonzo: It was never together.
Me: Call it abstract art. An abstract flamingo.
Gonzo kind of waggled the poor balloon around with an overly toothy grin.
Gonzo: It’s an abstract flamingo, Miss!
Me: I love it!
Gonzo: Abstractly?
Me: No, for reals.
Gonzo: Ok.
And now I’m the proud owner of the best balloon flamingo I’ve ever seen. ….because it’s the only one I’ve ever seen. Flamingo shmagino.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Myths of Middle School Minds
It is believed ancient myths and legends came from man looking at his frightening world around him and seeking an explanation, some way to understand. The stars became sparkling magical beings, the stormy sea was Poseidon’s wrath, and death was a decision passed down from the spinners of Fate to claim one’s soul. Having some kind of rationalization for events beyond understanding brings comfort.
This happens in middle school as well as ancient Greece.
Middle schoolers do not act within the realms of human comprehension. They’re volatile, unpredictable and downright odd. I’ve started to pick up on the “rationalizations” teachers put on the students… in some attempt to bring understanding and comfort.
Here’s a list of the excuses/validations/myths/reasons/answers I hear the most. I broke them down into categories because I like making categories in my lists.
Weather
- It’s raining and/or cloudy/grey.
- It’s sunny.
- It’s so cold outside.
- It’s so hot outside.
- It’s supposed to snow.
- It just snowed.
Weather is the most popular category from which to draw blame. (I’ve discovered that teachers with windows in their classrooms are twice as likely to lay fault on Mother Nature.) Basically anything regarding weather, lack of weather or whatever can be used to authenticate student behavior. One morning in the teacher’s lounge, I was engaged in conversation by a fellow teacher who told me:
“Be prepared for some potential craziness today. There’s a full moon tonight. The moon affects the ocean’s tides; it pulls on bodies of water. And student’s brains are over 70% water. So,” she gave me a very knowingly look as she took a dramatic sip of her coffee mug. “Full moon is going to be a’tugging on those guy’s skulls all day.”
As I stood there with her I thought to myself, ‘Aren’t ALL brains mostly water? So the full moon (if any of this is true) would affect EVERYONE’S brain, not just the students.’ Hmm. At least that would explain her behavior.
Palindromes
(I called this category ‘palindromes’ because a palindrome means: a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. These excuses can be flipped either way around and still mean the same thing: a useless excuse)
- The kids are just stuck in their routine, they need something new.
- The kids are just dealing with something new, they need their routine.
- Without elective classes the kids have too much energy.
- The kids have too much energy after going to elective classes.
Palindrome excuses are the most fun when a teacher walks into lunch, sits down and huffs out the first version. Then two minutes later another teacher comes in and says the opposite version. No one truly knows what is going on, we just know the kids are acting crazy. Palindrome excuses are essentially opinions and serve no other purpose than being fun to whine to others.
Days of the Week
- It’s Monday, the kids are zombies after the weekend.
- It’s Tuesday, they didn’t pay attention on Monday, they’re behind.
- It’s Wednesday, the kids are tired in the middle of the week.
- It’s Thursday, the kids know Friday is tomorrow.
- It’s Friday, it’s almost the weekend.
Days of the Week are default-go-to-always-applicable reasons for student behavior. They apply to all classes and any teacher/group(s) of students. It requires very little creativity or mental stretching to blame student behavior on a particular day. A nice fall back statement if all factors are smoothly in place and you can’t find any other reason for the student foolishness.
Personal
- This student is having problems at home.
- This student is on new medication.
- This student needs medication.
- This student needs new accommodations to handle class work.
The personal excuses are the most serious to say because they are difficult to dismiss once they’ve been uttered into verbal existence. Personal excuses are clearly the least frivolous and out of all the previously listed reasons, these are the most likely to not actually be excuses but valid reasons. Tread carefully with this list; you may suggest an excuse without even knowing that it’s really true and happening in that student’s life.
Teacher’s rationalization habits are on my mind because we’re currently slogging- (new favorite word!) through the last school week before Spring Break vacation. When a holiday is approaching or in the recent past it’s a surefire guaranteed scapegoat. I’ve heard (and used myself) all different variations of “It’s almost Spring Break.” Teachers started throwing that one around two or three weeks ago. Don’t even get me started on poor Christmas Break. That 3 week reprieve from school gets totally dumped on from Thanksgiving on into mid-January… when Spring Break picks up the torch.
Sometimes I think these excuses are just easy ways for teachers to avoid placing any responsibility on themselves. It’s much more convenient to throw up your hands and say “I couldn’t teach them anything today because ___insert rationalization here___” than to sit back and analyze your own actions. I know I’m guilty of that habit.
But truly there are times when the kids are just NUTS and there is nothing you can do but hang on for the ride. And that’s when after the glorious bell sounds and the students all stampede away... you put both weary hands on your desk, sigh, and say your rationalization aloud to no one because that is what keeps you from feeling like a failure because you couldn’t tame the adolescent lions. At least today.
I’m going to start simply saying, “There’s always next time.”
This happens in middle school as well as ancient Greece.
Middle schoolers do not act within the realms of human comprehension. They’re volatile, unpredictable and downright odd. I’ve started to pick up on the “rationalizations” teachers put on the students… in some attempt to bring understanding and comfort.
Here’s a list of the excuses/validations/myths/reasons/answers I hear the most. I broke them down into categories because I like making categories in my lists.
Weather
- It’s raining and/or cloudy/grey.
- It’s sunny.
- It’s so cold outside.
- It’s so hot outside.
- It’s supposed to snow.
- It just snowed.
Weather is the most popular category from which to draw blame. (I’ve discovered that teachers with windows in their classrooms are twice as likely to lay fault on Mother Nature.) Basically anything regarding weather, lack of weather or whatever can be used to authenticate student behavior. One morning in the teacher’s lounge, I was engaged in conversation by a fellow teacher who told me:
“Be prepared for some potential craziness today. There’s a full moon tonight. The moon affects the ocean’s tides; it pulls on bodies of water. And student’s brains are over 70% water. So,” she gave me a very knowingly look as she took a dramatic sip of her coffee mug. “Full moon is going to be a’tugging on those guy’s skulls all day.”
As I stood there with her I thought to myself, ‘Aren’t ALL brains mostly water? So the full moon (if any of this is true) would affect EVERYONE’S brain, not just the students.’ Hmm. At least that would explain her behavior.
Palindromes
(I called this category ‘palindromes’ because a palindrome means: a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. These excuses can be flipped either way around and still mean the same thing: a useless excuse)
- The kids are just stuck in their routine, they need something new.
- The kids are just dealing with something new, they need their routine.
- Without elective classes the kids have too much energy.
- The kids have too much energy after going to elective classes.
Palindrome excuses are the most fun when a teacher walks into lunch, sits down and huffs out the first version. Then two minutes later another teacher comes in and says the opposite version. No one truly knows what is going on, we just know the kids are acting crazy. Palindrome excuses are essentially opinions and serve no other purpose than being fun to whine to others.
Days of the Week
- It’s Monday, the kids are zombies after the weekend.
- It’s Tuesday, they didn’t pay attention on Monday, they’re behind.
- It’s Wednesday, the kids are tired in the middle of the week.
- It’s Thursday, the kids know Friday is tomorrow.
- It’s Friday, it’s almost the weekend.
Days of the Week are default-go-to-always-applicable reasons for student behavior. They apply to all classes and any teacher/group(s) of students. It requires very little creativity or mental stretching to blame student behavior on a particular day. A nice fall back statement if all factors are smoothly in place and you can’t find any other reason for the student foolishness.
Personal
- This student is having problems at home.
- This student is on new medication.
- This student needs medication.
- This student needs new accommodations to handle class work.
The personal excuses are the most serious to say because they are difficult to dismiss once they’ve been uttered into verbal existence. Personal excuses are clearly the least frivolous and out of all the previously listed reasons, these are the most likely to not actually be excuses but valid reasons. Tread carefully with this list; you may suggest an excuse without even knowing that it’s really true and happening in that student’s life.
Teacher’s rationalization habits are on my mind because we’re currently slogging- (new favorite word!) through the last school week before Spring Break vacation. When a holiday is approaching or in the recent past it’s a surefire guaranteed scapegoat. I’ve heard (and used myself) all different variations of “It’s almost Spring Break.” Teachers started throwing that one around two or three weeks ago. Don’t even get me started on poor Christmas Break. That 3 week reprieve from school gets totally dumped on from Thanksgiving on into mid-January… when Spring Break picks up the torch.
Sometimes I think these excuses are just easy ways for teachers to avoid placing any responsibility on themselves. It’s much more convenient to throw up your hands and say “I couldn’t teach them anything today because ___insert rationalization here___” than to sit back and analyze your own actions. I know I’m guilty of that habit.
But truly there are times when the kids are just NUTS and there is nothing you can do but hang on for the ride. And that’s when after the glorious bell sounds and the students all stampede away... you put both weary hands on your desk, sigh, and say your rationalization aloud to no one because that is what keeps you from feeling like a failure because you couldn’t tame the adolescent lions. At least today.
I’m going to start simply saying, “There’s always next time.”
Friday, March 4, 2011
Nibbled to Death by Ducks
Nothing huge and eventful has happened this week, just a lot of medium-sized
things. Now on Friday, I’m feeling pretty tired.Things have happened this week ranging from amusing, productive, frustrating or just a weary ordeal.
Monday started the week off right away with a moment that I don’t even know what
category to put it in. You can decide.
My Speech students were due to begin their Commemorative presentations on
Monday. This assignment was given a week and a half ago and we have been doing
nothing but working on it in class the last week.
A student (I’ll call him… Pelzo) came in Monday during morning tutorials time.
He was wearing black slacks and a button down shirt- classic presentation garb.
So I assumed he was ready to give his speech. Silly me.
I promise that the following exchanges all really happened.
Pelzo: Miss! I don’t got anything.
Me: What do you mean?
Pelzo: My speech. I’m not ready, I didn’t write anything.
*pause*
Me: Well. What did you think was going to happen when you came to school on
speech presentation day? You dressed up.
Pelzo: Can you help me?
Me: Help you how? Be specific.
Pelzo: Write my speech. What do I say?
-It’s times like this that my brain tries to violently escape from my
skull. It certainly feels like it’s smashing itself against my forehead in an
effort to flee from the situation.-
Me: Pelzo. We’ve been preparing for this speech for a week and a half. What did
you do in class all last week? Where’s your outline handout I gave you?
Pelzo: I lost it.
Me: The outline?
Pelzo: Everything. Yeah, the outline.
Me: So you wrote a speech and then you lost it. And your outline.
Pelzo: Yeah.
Me: I thought you said you didn’t write anything.
Pelzo: Yeah.
-At this moment I think if there was silence one could have heard the death
rattle of my sanity plunging into the abyss of ridiculousness-
Me: Sit down and write out why someone in your life has impacted you.
Pelzo: Impact? No one hits me.
(Duh. That’s why it’s called ‘knocking some sense into someone.’ You missed
that day)
Me: No- impact like meaningful; who means a lot to you. Write out personal
stories to share about your relationship.
Pelzo: Ok.
Pelzo sits down and I go back to my desk.
*Two minutes elapse*
Pelzo: Miss, you got paper?
Me: Yes. In the bin at the front.
*two more minutes elapse*
Pelzo: Hey Miss, you got a pencil?
- I pause here, and I stare at him for a second. I’m not making any sort of
face, I’m truly just trying to understand.-
Me: Yes. In the bin at the front. With the paper.
Now I thought surely he was up to his quota for the day. Another question
couldn’t come out of him. And I could not have been more wrong. He had been
holding back. He lulled me into a false sense of security by waiting more than
two minutes.
*TEN minutes later*
Pelzo: Miss, what’s Mexico?
Me: What you mean, what’s Mexico? Use more words, please.
Pelzo: Like, what is it? A city?
Me: Mexico City is a city.
Pelzo: No, Miss- like Mexicoooooo.
He then proceeds to stretch his arms out wide to the sides and look at me
quizzically.
Pelzo: Like, big Mexico.
No way. No way. He can’t mean…
Me: Mexico is a country.
Pelzo: Cool.
And I think I just died a little inside. I’m pretty sure I did. I just lost my
gallbladder or something because of that conversation.
Now at the end of the week, the only feeling I have in my body is just “tired.”
It’s not even a productive tired. It’s like getting a slow beat down all week.
Sometimes I feel like I’m being nibbled to death by ducks. A bite on it’s own
doesn’t hurt very much at all (like one question: Can I go to the bathroom? Why
do I have to do this? How old are you?) but multiply that by about a thousand a
day and it takes the life out of you.
Amen for the weekend.
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