It is believed ancient myths and legends came from man looking at his frightening world around him and seeking an explanation, some way to understand. The stars became sparkling magical beings, the stormy sea was Poseidon’s wrath, and death was a decision passed down from the spinners of Fate to claim one’s soul. Having some kind of rationalization for events beyond understanding brings comfort.
This happens in middle school as well as ancient Greece.
Middle schoolers do not act within the realms of human comprehension. They’re volatile, unpredictable and downright odd. I’ve started to pick up on the “rationalizations” teachers put on the students… in some attempt to bring understanding and comfort.
Here’s a list of the excuses/validations/myths/reasons/answers I hear the most. I broke them down into categories because I like making categories in my lists.
Weather
- It’s raining and/or cloudy/grey.
- It’s sunny.
- It’s so cold outside.
- It’s so hot outside.
- It’s supposed to snow.
- It just snowed.
Weather is the most popular category from which to draw blame. (I’ve discovered that teachers with windows in their classrooms are twice as likely to lay fault on Mother Nature.) Basically anything regarding weather, lack of weather or whatever can be used to authenticate student behavior. One morning in the teacher’s lounge, I was engaged in conversation by a fellow teacher who told me:
“Be prepared for some potential craziness today. There’s a full moon tonight. The moon affects the ocean’s tides; it pulls on bodies of water. And student’s brains are over 70% water. So,” she gave me a very knowingly look as she took a dramatic sip of her coffee mug. “Full moon is going to be a’tugging on those guy’s skulls all day.”
As I stood there with her I thought to myself, ‘Aren’t ALL brains mostly water? So the full moon (if any of this is true) would affect EVERYONE’S brain, not just the students.’ Hmm. At least that would explain her behavior.
Palindromes
(I called this category ‘palindromes’ because a palindrome means: a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. These excuses can be flipped either way around and still mean the same thing: a useless excuse)
- The kids are just stuck in their routine, they need something new.
- The kids are just dealing with something new, they need their routine.
- Without elective classes the kids have too much energy.
- The kids have too much energy after going to elective classes.
Palindrome excuses are the most fun when a teacher walks into lunch, sits down and huffs out the first version. Then two minutes later another teacher comes in and says the opposite version. No one truly knows what is going on, we just know the kids are acting crazy. Palindrome excuses are essentially opinions and serve no other purpose than being fun to whine to others.
Days of the Week
- It’s Monday, the kids are zombies after the weekend.
- It’s Tuesday, they didn’t pay attention on Monday, they’re behind.
- It’s Wednesday, the kids are tired in the middle of the week.
- It’s Thursday, the kids know Friday is tomorrow.
- It’s Friday, it’s almost the weekend.
Days of the Week are default-go-to-always-applicable reasons for student behavior. They apply to all classes and any teacher/group(s) of students. It requires very little creativity or mental stretching to blame student behavior on a particular day. A nice fall back statement if all factors are smoothly in place and you can’t find any other reason for the student foolishness.
Personal
- This student is having problems at home.
- This student is on new medication.
- This student needs medication.
- This student needs new accommodations to handle class work.
The personal excuses are the most serious to say because they are difficult to dismiss once they’ve been uttered into verbal existence. Personal excuses are clearly the least frivolous and out of all the previously listed reasons, these are the most likely to not actually be excuses but valid reasons. Tread carefully with this list; you may suggest an excuse without even knowing that it’s really true and happening in that student’s life.
Teacher’s rationalization habits are on my mind because we’re currently slogging- (new favorite word!) through the last school week before Spring Break vacation. When a holiday is approaching or in the recent past it’s a surefire guaranteed scapegoat. I’ve heard (and used myself) all different variations of “It’s almost Spring Break.” Teachers started throwing that one around two or three weeks ago. Don’t even get me started on poor Christmas Break. That 3 week reprieve from school gets totally dumped on from Thanksgiving on into mid-January… when Spring Break picks up the torch.
Sometimes I think these excuses are just easy ways for teachers to avoid placing any responsibility on themselves. It’s much more convenient to throw up your hands and say “I couldn’t teach them anything today because ___insert rationalization here___” than to sit back and analyze your own actions. I know I’m guilty of that habit.
But truly there are times when the kids are just NUTS and there is nothing you can do but hang on for the ride. And that’s when after the glorious bell sounds and the students all stampede away... you put both weary hands on your desk, sigh, and say your rationalization aloud to no one because that is what keeps you from feeling like a failure because you couldn’t tame the adolescent lions. At least today.
I’m going to start simply saying, “There’s always next time.”
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