Teach On

Today has been a true test of my sheer willpower to teach on.

It’s not that one huge straw has fallen on my metaphorical camel’s back; it’s just a big pile of little things.

And the pile has fallen on me.

Maybe things seem colored so darkly today because both I and the students desperately need a vacation. The monotony of Monday – Friday can’t be underestimated. Everyone’s candles are being burnt from both ends and karate-chopped in the middle.

But we tell the students: “You don’t want to learn, fine. Just put your head down and don’t disturb others.” Our district calls it ‘opting out’ and students are not forced to work if they don’t want too.
I have plenty of students who don’t want to do their work. But they don’t want to opt out either. They want to talk.

Talking is what 7th graders do best. They whisper in rapid hisses to each other when my back is turned, holler comments at the powerpoints, gab about sports and fashion during group discussions, or subtly scream across the room at each other about nothing at all.

Achieving and then maintaining quiet is the Holy Grail of teaching. Forget ‘A’ test scores and literary masterpieces; give us 15 minutes of quiet for instruction. It’s an unattainable dream, a bitter unfeasible fantasy.
That’s what is wearing me down. The noise. The constant noise of voices.

My 4th period is a general education class on the large size with 32 students. Currently my classroom is set up with 8 groups of 4 desks each scattered throughout the whole space. It is impossible to silence 32 mouths at once. Today I discovered what it was like to be at my wit’s end. I stood in front of that class and 2/3rds of them were talking- oblivious to me standing there waiting to teach. The other 1/3rd is staring at me with pleading eyes and their heads leaning on their arms, hands over their ears.

So I taught softly. I spoke in a tone that would fit in at a quiet dinner party. I went through the whole lesson with maybe the front row being able to hear me. The rest of the class went about their merry business. Maybe that was wrong of me; I just couldn’t face down another 50 minute stretch of yelling every word.

I’m sitting in my conference period with a pounding headache and a troubled heart. My students need to be taught and they basically refuse to let me teach them. How do I combat such attitudes? They have been acting this way since the middle of last week.

I hope their behavior is only a reflection of the upcoming Thanksgiving break and whatever internal wiring in the student’s minds that has fried can be repaired by time away from school.