This is the start of my last week at my long-term sub job.
I am so incredibly grateful for this job. It was a real blessing that it came my way. For six weeks I didn’t worry so much about future work because I was so absorbed in my current work. Now, the end is looming up ahead a mere four days away and the nerves are creeping back.
It is hard not to get depressed at the condition of my state’s education system. It is the worst it has ever been. Ever. We’re 10 billion dollars in debt and current projections for the 2011-2012 school year are that 1/3 of my state’s teaching positions will be cut. I don’t get into the politics of the money and the government because:
1. I know I don’t know everything.
2. Me dissecting out the situation in no way creates any change- all it does is make me feel sick.
3. Nothing is truly finalized yet. Schools won’t have the ultimate bottom line for their budgets until sometime in July or even August.
I don’t know how I could have worked any harder at this job than I have. Early mornings and late, late nights- I gave all I could. Now I can only sit back and wait to see if it was enough.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Morning Snapshots
I wanted to show everyone some of the bits of my teaching world. I know I tell about things all the time, but face it. Everybody likes pictures.
I came up with this idea on Tuesday. Unfortunately- I can't have my phone (aka camera) on me very often while I'm at school. And for some reason the past few days I couldn't seem to find things I liked/cared about enough to include. So here on Friday I'm just putting out what I have. I hope it satisfies.
It all really ended up being a walk-through of things I see on a typical morning.
I came up with this idea on Tuesday. Unfortunately- I can't have my phone (aka camera) on me very often while I'm at school. And for some reason the past few days I couldn't seem to find things I liked/cared about enough to include. So here on Friday I'm just putting out what I have. I hope it satisfies.
It all really ended up being a walk-through of things I see on a typical morning.
This is one of the first things I see every morning. On the whiteboard in the teacher's lounge is a long list of the teachers out and the substitutes in for them. For the past month and a half my name has been a permanent resident of the top of the list. I know the list isn't a leaderboard or anything but I like to think it is. Top sub!
In the teacher's lounge is the compliementary tea and coffee chart for us hardworking public servants. At the start of this week this cute note appeared on top of the tea dispenser. At least they (whoever they are, I genuinely don't know) was nice enough to draw some hearts.
One of my early morning tasks 9 times out of 10 is to go make a bunch of copies. I like to use the copier in the library rather than the one in the front office for a couple reasons. 1. A very diminished chance of running into an administrator when I still have sleepy eyes and one hand is clutching my chai while I blearly watch the machine chug out paper. 2. The Zen Garden.
It's been there since my first fall semester, always in the same copy paper lid. Sometimes it is nice when you're running off two different back to back three digit copy jobs to lean over and rake some sand around.
After making all my copies... I head to my room. Everyday we have to write our "learning goals" on the board- the ultimate objective for each lesson. Since I teach 3 different subjects, I have 3 learning goals instead of the average teacher's 1. Which means I have 15 lesson plans a week instead of 5.
These are the learning goals I had for Friday. Not particularly exciting, but a good representation of my daily work. Also- now everyone has been exposed to my terrible handwriting. I know it's awful. It has all the stereotypical flaws: Goes from really big letters at the start of the sentence to small ones at the end. I have a poor ability to visualize invisible lines on which to write my sentences, so they roll up and down like peaceful hills. And my letters, like the capital "N's" are awkwardly tilted. Bah.
Oh, and "IWBAT" stands for "I Will Be Able Too." Abbreviations are a teacher's friend.
The school announcements have gotta be loaded online everyday. Which means the files have to render into a format suitable for being on the internet. Basically what you need to take away from this is that rendering takes a long time. A loooooong time. I spend a lot of my day staring at screens that look like this:
I hope these morning picture tidbits(new favorite word) were more exciting to see than I'm thinking they were...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Team-Teaching Dreams...
I miss having a buddy.
When you’re a student teacher, you’re only part teacher (as the very name implies). You have another half- a mentor teacher. The two of you are constantly together. While in the beginning it is certainly an adjustment getting used to being around another person so closely all day; once the comfort levels have been established you can operate as a highly efficient team.
Working with my mentor teacher during the fall semester made me a HUGE advocate of the ‘team-teaching’ style.
Team-teaching is literally what it says: teachers working as team. I have heard of some schools (usually wealthier ones who can afford two adults per room) implementing team-teaching but its definitely underutilized.
With two teachers, the vast workload is halved into something feasible to handle.
Teaching encompasses two basic things: Instruction/Assessment & Classroom Management. Those aspects are never split 50/50. Never. At least not in any classroom I’ve ever been in. If you’re lucky you can maintain levels of 40% instruction, 60% classroom management.
Classroom management is a large umbrella statement for a vast range of “keeping-the-kids-focused-learning-not-imploding” strategies and techniques. Anything from a simple tap on the shoulder to silence a chatty student, to organizing assignments and breaking up bigger discipline hassles: fights, insubordination, etc.
When classroom management is being enacted, 90% of the time instruction must cease. It could be only for 15 seconds telling a student to pay attention/sit down/stop talking but it disrupts the flow of the lesson. Multiply those 15 seconds by 20 times and you’ve lost a solid 5 minutes of class. As class is only 50 minutes long- that’s a substantial loss. The worst part is honestly that’s a conservative estimation of time spent on classroom management.
With team-teaching, instruction can flow uninhibited and separately from classroom management. One teacher is engaged in the lesson, while the other is walking the room, monitoring, taking students aside, keeping them on task. Disruptions can be targeted and dissipated quickly without pausing the lesson. Both teachers avoid becoming overwhelmed with the dual tasks of achieving student comprehension and maintaining a peaceful environment.
At my long-term sub job I’ve really for the first time felt the burden of being the sole adult in a room full of 12/13 year olds. My voice has to do two things at once: teach and discipline. I’ve found it difficult to switch rapidly back and forth between the two modes. By the end of a class I felt like I’ve run a marathon.
Team-teaching has more benefits outside of actual class time. Lessons don’t come pre-packaged and ready to go. They take an enormous amount of prep work. Physically creating the: powerpoint notes, handouts, rubrics, tests, homework- plus all the work of photocopying, laminating and grading is enough to bury a teacher. Two people obviously can get twice as much done twice as fast than one person working alone.
I wish my state had enough money to make team-teaching a state-wide policy. It would have so many benefits, one being doubling the amount of teaching jobs! I understand the intense potential for conflict between teachers- sharing authority can be difficult and personality issues could abound.
Perhaps I’m jaded in a good way because I had such a great experience during student teaching. Even with the possible problems, the team-teaching benefits so outweigh anything else- for both students and teachers.
When you’re a student teacher, you’re only part teacher (as the very name implies). You have another half- a mentor teacher. The two of you are constantly together. While in the beginning it is certainly an adjustment getting used to being around another person so closely all day; once the comfort levels have been established you can operate as a highly efficient team.
Working with my mentor teacher during the fall semester made me a HUGE advocate of the ‘team-teaching’ style.
Team-teaching is literally what it says: teachers working as team. I have heard of some schools (usually wealthier ones who can afford two adults per room) implementing team-teaching but its definitely underutilized.
With two teachers, the vast workload is halved into something feasible to handle.
Teaching encompasses two basic things: Instruction/Assessment & Classroom Management. Those aspects are never split 50/50. Never. At least not in any classroom I’ve ever been in. If you’re lucky you can maintain levels of 40% instruction, 60% classroom management.
Classroom management is a large umbrella statement for a vast range of “keeping-the-kids-focused-learning-not-imploding” strategies and techniques. Anything from a simple tap on the shoulder to silence a chatty student, to organizing assignments and breaking up bigger discipline hassles: fights, insubordination, etc.
When classroom management is being enacted, 90% of the time instruction must cease. It could be only for 15 seconds telling a student to pay attention/sit down/stop talking but it disrupts the flow of the lesson. Multiply those 15 seconds by 20 times and you’ve lost a solid 5 minutes of class. As class is only 50 minutes long- that’s a substantial loss. The worst part is honestly that’s a conservative estimation of time spent on classroom management.
With team-teaching, instruction can flow uninhibited and separately from classroom management. One teacher is engaged in the lesson, while the other is walking the room, monitoring, taking students aside, keeping them on task. Disruptions can be targeted and dissipated quickly without pausing the lesson. Both teachers avoid becoming overwhelmed with the dual tasks of achieving student comprehension and maintaining a peaceful environment.
At my long-term sub job I’ve really for the first time felt the burden of being the sole adult in a room full of 12/13 year olds. My voice has to do two things at once: teach and discipline. I’ve found it difficult to switch rapidly back and forth between the two modes. By the end of a class I felt like I’ve run a marathon.
Team-teaching has more benefits outside of actual class time. Lessons don’t come pre-packaged and ready to go. They take an enormous amount of prep work. Physically creating the: powerpoint notes, handouts, rubrics, tests, homework- plus all the work of photocopying, laminating and grading is enough to bury a teacher. Two people obviously can get twice as much done twice as fast than one person working alone.
I wish my state had enough money to make team-teaching a state-wide policy. It would have so many benefits, one being doubling the amount of teaching jobs! I understand the intense potential for conflict between teachers- sharing authority can be difficult and personality issues could abound.
Perhaps I’m jaded in a good way because I had such a great experience during student teaching. Even with the possible problems, the team-teaching benefits so outweigh anything else- for both students and teachers.
Monday, March 21, 2011
C.O.O.L.
Maybe it’s the school I’m at… but I feel like middle schoolers (at least the ones I’m around) are much more “clothing experimental” than I remember being when I was 12-13. How the kids choose to make themselves look can be down right odd and they’re doing things I could never think of, let alone imagine would be trendy.
I can’t believe it took me so long to tackle this topic. It’s been rolling around in my head for awhile. I think I was worried I couldn’t do it justice. There are a bazillion (that’s right, I said ‘bazillion’ and Microsoft Word didn’t underline it in red- so it’s a real word!) different aspects to cover, so this could be really interesting… or lame. I apologize for the ‘hodge-podge’-ness but that’s me trying to get all my thoughts out.
The instigating factor for this is today I had about 10 minutes of downtime with some of my more talkative girls and they totally broke down middle school fashion for me. I’ve incorporated their input with my own observations.
I had the idea of taking pictures of my students and their ‘fashion’ (to offer a true visual representation of course) but there is really no un-creepy way to do that. One of my girls let me take a photo of her hair, but that’s all ya’ll get.
I know middle school is a time of self-discovery; the first time kids are starting to feel independent from their parents. They’re finding out their own identities, their own styles. Those styles encompass a couple of things pretty consistently.
Colored Contacts. These were not around last semester, but it seems during the weeks I’ve been subbing they are suddenly on every eyeball I see. Most kids (like one of my chatty girls) get light blue to offset their dark eyes and make them look oddly distorted. But some guys have gotten weird reflective ones that make their eyes look like a dog’s when you shine a light on them. One guy had majorly freaky ones that blocked all the color from his eye, so it was all white with a pupil. There’s nothing in the dress code about color contacts as far as I can tell. This trend is shared equally between boys and girls.
Of all the fashion trends, I think make-up is the one that echoes my own middle school days the most. The standard for girls is still a raccoon. What a revered creature for young girls. Goal: as much black eyeliner and mascara around one’s eyeballs as much as possible. Combo that with the colored contacts and you’re good to go.
If you want to know a middle schooler’s interests, favorite color, etc- look at their arms. Like a myspace/facebook profile, their arms are covered in everything about them. Popular items include:
- Silly Bandz. These are flimsy little rainbow colored rubber bracelets that pop into any shape imaginable- a flower, dinosaur (that one is coveted- especially if it glows in the dark), a cat, a heart, whatever. They’re dying in popularity, thank goodness. Back in the fall semester, we used to bust kids selling them in the bathroom like drugs.
- “I <3 Boobies.” This is a popular bracelet sold by some organization (I honestly don’t know who) to raise money for breast cancer something-or-other. It’s really wide and thick, made of rubber and comes in every possible color. I’m pretty sure this bracelet was banned for the ‘boobies’ word (ridiculous), but if that’s true no one is enforcing it.
- Then there are a medley of assorted things. Plastic admittance bands from Six Flags, random pieces of string or yarn, the other standard rubber bracelets from any sports brand, and all the possible pseudo-surfer/prep bracelets from the interchangeable American Eagle/PacSun/Holliser/Aeropostale.
Any bare space on an arm is then filled in with doodles. Kids write all the standards; “I love _insert crush of the week_,” their own name, the Superman ‘S’ or just a ton of hearts and squiggles.
Converse are mandatory in middle school. I can have 25 kids in a class and I’ll see 15 different pairs of Chucks. I guess there is a memo when you get here in 6th grade- “Go by Converse… in many colors.” I say kudos to Chuck Taylor for selling all those shoes, though I bet he didn’t envision this is how his namesake would end up. Supplementing Converse are shoe laces. Heaven forbid if you left the shoelaces that came with the shoes in those eyelets. You’d be shunned. Some kids have only one or two pairs of sneakers, but clearly they have at least 10 sets of shoelaces. Glittery, ribbons, every bright color, printed with skulls, polka dots- whatever. Just not white.
Things Middle School “Gangsters” Use to Make Themselves Look…. “Gangster”:
- Anything that would be totally normal for a five year old.
Examples: Sesame Street t-shirts, tiny Barbie or Spongebob backpacks and different colored socks for each foot.
- A pair of jeans or khakis (preferably dickies) that must be worn either slouched under the butt cheeks (to display the power rangers or Corona boxers) or with the pants highly starched and aggressively cuffed above the sneakers.
- Rosaries as necklaces. Actually, these have been flat-out banned at my school because of the gang ties. Sometimes you can still catch a guy with one under his shirt, but the hammers come down pretty hard on rosaries.
- Hair gel. Copious amounts. The two options are complete opposites:
o Spiked up in gravity defying spears that glisten in the florescent light.
o Slicked back flat to the skull in an impenetrable intimidating hair-helmet.
I’ve overwhelmingly noticed hair has become vital to one’s ‘look.’ Apparently with hair- more equals awesome. More, that is, in the timeless style of “emo.” I looked up the definition of the word emo. Emo: overly emotional or melodramatic. I’ve heard it thrown around a lot to describe everything from someone who wears all black, to suicidal tendencies to now- a hairstyle. One of my students happily declared she has ‘perfect emo hair’ and she let me take a picture.
Her hair has no distinguishable part, and most of it is swept forward so it covers her eyes and face. I have no idea what that girl’s forehead looks like. A mandatory aspect of the hairstyle is a useless ponytail that serves no discernable purpose. And of course- dye your hair black or at the very least dark brown- that does without saying.
When I was being enlightened by my female students, I made the dreadful mistake of remarking something was “cool.” The girls all laughed and shared looks. “Miss Martin doesn’t know what ‘cool’ means!” one of them, (I’ll call her… Zettie) declared triumphantly, like she’d exposed I was an alien.
Me: Ok. My bad. So what does ‘cool’ mean now?
Zettie: Alright, I’ll break it down. Cool means: Conservated. Overrated. Overweight. Loser.
Yeah.
You read right.
That’s what cool now stands for.
“A three year old told me that even!” Zettie says to reinforce my stupidity. I told her “conservated” was not a word. I asked her twice how to spell it. We googled it and looked it up in the good ol’ websters, ('conservated' does not exist) and she just declared “Whatevs, it means something to me!” and laughed.
At this point the bell rang and Zettie and her friends swept off to the rest of their day. I was kind of impressed a girl who can’t remember to come to class on time has a four word acronym memorized.
I’m sure my teachers looked at me and my 12 year old peers with the same head-tilted-like-a-dog-who-hears-an-odd-noise expression and tried to understand.
I can’t believe it took me so long to tackle this topic. It’s been rolling around in my head for awhile. I think I was worried I couldn’t do it justice. There are a bazillion (that’s right, I said ‘bazillion’ and Microsoft Word didn’t underline it in red- so it’s a real word!) different aspects to cover, so this could be really interesting… or lame. I apologize for the ‘hodge-podge’-ness but that’s me trying to get all my thoughts out.
The instigating factor for this is today I had about 10 minutes of downtime with some of my more talkative girls and they totally broke down middle school fashion for me. I’ve incorporated their input with my own observations.
I had the idea of taking pictures of my students and their ‘fashion’ (to offer a true visual representation of course) but there is really no un-creepy way to do that. One of my girls let me take a photo of her hair, but that’s all ya’ll get.
I know middle school is a time of self-discovery; the first time kids are starting to feel independent from their parents. They’re finding out their own identities, their own styles. Those styles encompass a couple of things pretty consistently.
Colored Contacts. These were not around last semester, but it seems during the weeks I’ve been subbing they are suddenly on every eyeball I see. Most kids (like one of my chatty girls) get light blue to offset their dark eyes and make them look oddly distorted. But some guys have gotten weird reflective ones that make their eyes look like a dog’s when you shine a light on them. One guy had majorly freaky ones that blocked all the color from his eye, so it was all white with a pupil. There’s nothing in the dress code about color contacts as far as I can tell. This trend is shared equally between boys and girls.
Of all the fashion trends, I think make-up is the one that echoes my own middle school days the most. The standard for girls is still a raccoon. What a revered creature for young girls. Goal: as much black eyeliner and mascara around one’s eyeballs as much as possible. Combo that with the colored contacts and you’re good to go.
If you want to know a middle schooler’s interests, favorite color, etc- look at their arms. Like a myspace/facebook profile, their arms are covered in everything about them. Popular items include:
- Silly Bandz. These are flimsy little rainbow colored rubber bracelets that pop into any shape imaginable- a flower, dinosaur (that one is coveted- especially if it glows in the dark), a cat, a heart, whatever. They’re dying in popularity, thank goodness. Back in the fall semester, we used to bust kids selling them in the bathroom like drugs.
- “I <3 Boobies.” This is a popular bracelet sold by some organization (I honestly don’t know who) to raise money for breast cancer something-or-other. It’s really wide and thick, made of rubber and comes in every possible color. I’m pretty sure this bracelet was banned for the ‘boobies’ word (ridiculous), but if that’s true no one is enforcing it.
- Then there are a medley of assorted things. Plastic admittance bands from Six Flags, random pieces of string or yarn, the other standard rubber bracelets from any sports brand, and all the possible pseudo-surfer/prep bracelets from the interchangeable American Eagle/PacSun/Holliser/Aeropostale.
Any bare space on an arm is then filled in with doodles. Kids write all the standards; “I love _insert crush of the week_,” their own name, the Superman ‘S’ or just a ton of hearts and squiggles.
Converse are mandatory in middle school. I can have 25 kids in a class and I’ll see 15 different pairs of Chucks. I guess there is a memo when you get here in 6th grade- “Go by Converse… in many colors.” I say kudos to Chuck Taylor for selling all those shoes, though I bet he didn’t envision this is how his namesake would end up. Supplementing Converse are shoe laces. Heaven forbid if you left the shoelaces that came with the shoes in those eyelets. You’d be shunned. Some kids have only one or two pairs of sneakers, but clearly they have at least 10 sets of shoelaces. Glittery, ribbons, every bright color, printed with skulls, polka dots- whatever. Just not white.
Things Middle School “Gangsters” Use to Make Themselves Look…. “Gangster”:
- Anything that would be totally normal for a five year old.
Examples: Sesame Street t-shirts, tiny Barbie or Spongebob backpacks and different colored socks for each foot.
- A pair of jeans or khakis (preferably dickies) that must be worn either slouched under the butt cheeks (to display the power rangers or Corona boxers) or with the pants highly starched and aggressively cuffed above the sneakers.
- Rosaries as necklaces. Actually, these have been flat-out banned at my school because of the gang ties. Sometimes you can still catch a guy with one under his shirt, but the hammers come down pretty hard on rosaries.
- Hair gel. Copious amounts. The two options are complete opposites:
o Spiked up in gravity defying spears that glisten in the florescent light.
o Slicked back flat to the skull in an impenetrable intimidating hair-helmet.
I’ve overwhelmingly noticed hair has become vital to one’s ‘look.’ Apparently with hair- more equals awesome. More, that is, in the timeless style of “emo.” I looked up the definition of the word emo. Emo: overly emotional or melodramatic. I’ve heard it thrown around a lot to describe everything from someone who wears all black, to suicidal tendencies to now- a hairstyle. One of my students happily declared she has ‘perfect emo hair’ and she let me take a picture.
Her hair has no distinguishable part, and most of it is swept forward so it covers her eyes and face. I have no idea what that girl’s forehead looks like. A mandatory aspect of the hairstyle is a useless ponytail that serves no discernable purpose. And of course- dye your hair black or at the very least dark brown- that does without saying.
When I was being enlightened by my female students, I made the dreadful mistake of remarking something was “cool.” The girls all laughed and shared looks. “Miss Martin doesn’t know what ‘cool’ means!” one of them, (I’ll call her… Zettie) declared triumphantly, like she’d exposed I was an alien.
Me: Ok. My bad. So what does ‘cool’ mean now?
Zettie: Alright, I’ll break it down. Cool means: Conservated. Overrated. Overweight. Loser.
Yeah.
You read right.
That’s what cool now stands for.
“A three year old told me that even!” Zettie says to reinforce my stupidity. I told her “conservated” was not a word. I asked her twice how to spell it. We googled it and looked it up in the good ol’ websters, ('conservated' does not exist) and she just declared “Whatevs, it means something to me!” and laughed.
At this point the bell rang and Zettie and her friends swept off to the rest of their day. I was kind of impressed a girl who can’t remember to come to class on time has a four word acronym memorized.
I’m sure my teachers looked at me and my 12 year old peers with the same head-tilted-like-a-dog-who-hears-an-odd-noise expression and tried to understand.
A Teaching Trilogy...
I believe my teaching career (at least the beginning) is a trilogy of sorts. And
being this is a blog, I'm breaking my trilogy down into three titles.
“Both Sides of the Desk”- student teaching
“Not My Own Desk Yet”- substituting
“My First Desk”- fo' real teaching- (not perfect... makes it seems like I'm jumping back to kindergarten... ‘My 1st Desk,’ I mean first teacher-grown-up desk!)
Those could be book titles. Hmmm...
I think to write a book, (definitely bookS) you have to feel what you have to say deserves to be preserved and distributed to the world. Mostly I feel like I'm just whining a lot, though I try to be objective, receptive and full of inner-outer perspective. With a side of cheesy stupid wordplay.
I'm continually surprised anyone reads anything I write. When I blog, it feels like I'm writing something down, putting it into an envelope- then tying the envelope to a balloon and releasing it into the sky. Will anyone ever see my words?
If I was going to write a book, I feel (I have a lot of feelings today!) I'd have to be very disciplined about the whole endeavor and not treat the daunting task casually. I'd make a writing schedule and hassle people for grammar checks at regular intervals.
In short- I would totally suck the fun out of the whole experience of writing life down. I love the blog set-up; very 'go with the flow,' write things down as they happen. I don't think, at least at this point in my life, I could sit down for hours+ and churn out large chunks of stories. I'd lose the "realness." I spend a lot of time with my blog entries before I post them... and half the things I write get reread, reread and then deleted.
If I allow my life to simply happen and I continue to document it as I go- I see no reason why I couldn't go back, tweak the whole thing (and fill in the start of student teaching I missed by starting "both sides" a month and a half before I graduated) and call it a book. Whether anyone would actually pay money for my words is the true dilemna haha
Besides... I can't set out to write my teaching trilogy yet. A teaching ‘duo’ doesn’t sound as good. I haven't got my own teacher-grown-up desk. I don't know how the story ends!
being this is a blog, I'm breaking my trilogy down into three titles.
“Both Sides of the Desk”- student teaching
“Not My Own Desk Yet”- substituting
“My First Desk”- fo' real teaching- (not perfect... makes it seems like I'm jumping back to kindergarten... ‘My 1st Desk,’ I mean first teacher-grown-up desk!)
Those could be book titles. Hmmm...
I think to write a book, (definitely bookS) you have to feel what you have to say deserves to be preserved and distributed to the world. Mostly I feel like I'm just whining a lot, though I try to be objective, receptive and full of inner-outer perspective. With a side of cheesy stupid wordplay.
I'm continually surprised anyone reads anything I write. When I blog, it feels like I'm writing something down, putting it into an envelope- then tying the envelope to a balloon and releasing it into the sky. Will anyone ever see my words?
If I was going to write a book, I feel (I have a lot of feelings today!) I'd have to be very disciplined about the whole endeavor and not treat the daunting task casually. I'd make a writing schedule and hassle people for grammar checks at regular intervals.
In short- I would totally suck the fun out of the whole experience of writing life down. I love the blog set-up; very 'go with the flow,' write things down as they happen. I don't think, at least at this point in my life, I could sit down for hours+ and churn out large chunks of stories. I'd lose the "realness." I spend a lot of time with my blog entries before I post them... and half the things I write get reread, reread and then deleted.
If I allow my life to simply happen and I continue to document it as I go- I see no reason why I couldn't go back, tweak the whole thing (and fill in the start of student teaching I missed by starting "both sides" a month and a half before I graduated) and call it a book. Whether anyone would actually pay money for my words is the true dilemna haha
Besides... I can't set out to write my teaching trilogy yet. A teaching ‘duo’ doesn’t sound as good. I haven't got my own teacher-grown-up desk. I don't know how the story ends!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Keep Calm and Carry On
The title of this post "Keep Calm and Carry On" comes from that phrase which was used by the British during WWII as a morale booster. It was printed on posters.... but then never really got out there. In the early 2000s, the slogan was rediscovered and a new generation took it to heart. I'm working from it now!
My long-term sub job concludes on April 1st... no joke. That Friday will be my last day of that steady work.
I'm trying really hard not to freak out.
I know I'm the type of person who likes to have control. I'm perfectly happy if I know what I'm doing a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. I love schedules and routines. Being a substitute has a been a long lesson of me learning to let go of control. I think God is probably doing that on purpose to teach me patience. Sometimes I want to shake my hands at the sky and say "I get it! Lesson learned! Can I have a full-time job now!?" ....but being impatient about finishing learning the lesson on patience seems ironic and pointless... and won't get me closer to the end.
I've used the emptiness of the Spring Break days to spend a solid half day hitting up every school districts' website within 40 miles of me. Over and over and over again I saw some variation of this little delightful blurb:
No teaching jobs. No openings for subs.
*sigh*
I can be okay with not getting a full-time teaching job for the fall. I can continue to sub and pray and look for a job. I say "can" be okay because I have to hurtle over 2 things:
My own pride- I worked so hard in school (I'm good at school!) and finished college a year and a half early with honors. So I had the mindset that I would graduate and find a job just as quickly and effectively. But I know I'm not alone in my unemployed demographic... the jobs simply aren't out there right now. It doesn't reflect my abilities. The jobs just aren't there.
Desire for independence- I'm currently living at home with my parents. I could afford to live on my own right now... but I would be pulling out more money from my savings than I would be putting in. Living on my own is not worth that continual financial drain to me. My parents are wonderful, and there is no shame to staying with them. So I tell myself. I'm currently still supposed to be in college, so so what if I'm staying here while I work to get a salaried position? My mom cooks amazing yummy food and my dad can fix anything and everything. I've got it good.
All I need is one job. :) Even though my state is having some serious struggles with the education system, all I need is one job. And I AM okay with the "waiting" game till I find a full time position. Everything is going to be alright.
Deep breaths.
My long-term sub job concludes on April 1st... no joke. That Friday will be my last day of that steady work.
I'm trying really hard not to freak out.
I know I'm the type of person who likes to have control. I'm perfectly happy if I know what I'm doing a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. I love schedules and routines. Being a substitute has a been a long lesson of me learning to let go of control. I think God is probably doing that on purpose to teach me patience. Sometimes I want to shake my hands at the sky and say "I get it! Lesson learned! Can I have a full-time job now!?" ....but being impatient about finishing learning the lesson on patience seems ironic and pointless... and won't get me closer to the end.
I've used the emptiness of the Spring Break days to spend a solid half day hitting up every school districts' website within 40 miles of me. Over and over and over again I saw some variation of this little delightful blurb:
No teaching jobs. No openings for subs.
*sigh*
I can be okay with not getting a full-time teaching job for the fall. I can continue to sub and pray and look for a job. I say "can" be okay because I have to hurtle over 2 things:
My own pride- I worked so hard in school (I'm good at school!) and finished college a year and a half early with honors. So I had the mindset that I would graduate and find a job just as quickly and effectively. But I know I'm not alone in my unemployed demographic... the jobs simply aren't out there right now. It doesn't reflect my abilities. The jobs just aren't there.
Desire for independence- I'm currently living at home with my parents. I could afford to live on my own right now... but I would be pulling out more money from my savings than I would be putting in. Living on my own is not worth that continual financial drain to me. My parents are wonderful, and there is no shame to staying with them. So I tell myself. I'm currently still supposed to be in college, so so what if I'm staying here while I work to get a salaried position? My mom cooks amazing yummy food and my dad can fix anything and everything. I've got it good.
All I need is one job. :) Even though my state is having some serious struggles with the education system, all I need is one job. And I AM okay with the "waiting" game till I find a full time position. Everything is going to be alright.
Deep breaths.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Teacher's 'Help Currency'
A school is like its own little society, separate and autonomous. Like a country.
We have our own laws and day-to-day structure of activities. But no currency… no formal one anyway. Teachers do have their own informal barter system of favors.
It took me awhile to catch on to the system. I found myself adapting and using the process before I was even aware of my actions. This week though, with all the craziness before Spring Break, the system has been in overdrive and I thought I’d think out/write down the details.
I tried to think of a clever name for the currency and failed pretty intensely.
My ideas were:
- Teacher Barter System (TBS)- no. That’s a TV station that is basically the Tyler Perry network.
- Teacher Trade Currency (TTC)- no. I feel like that sounds like an STD. “Aw man, I got TTC, gotta get that stupid shot in my butt.”
- Teacher Favor Exchange- no. Too oddly sexual.
Forget it. The system doesn’t need a catchy name. Moving on.
Education is a team sport. True, it’s just you in the classroom but the whole process of successfully putting knowledge into kid’s heads takes a village. Teachers are always in communication with each other and requesting/giving help. Different items of ‘help currency’ carry different levels of weight.
Lower Level
- Borrowing Stuff.
Sometimes teachers endeavor to have their students do an activity for which they require extra “stuff.” Maybe every student needs their own pair of scissors or a red pen. These items can be collected from other teachers as a small favor. Most teams/departments (ex: Social Studies, Math, Fine Arts) are in a constant state of fluidity with stuff drifting from class to class.
- Acts of Convenience.
There are a million little tasks for teachers to complete every day. Acts of Convenience are when another teacher is going to doing something anyway and you ask them to go ahead and do your task too. Examples: checking your box in the teacher’s lounge, picking up completed copies from the copy aide or dropping off a book at the library. These little favors are the bread and butter of the barter system; the most utilized.
- They Were With Me.
Sometimes you need to keep a student for a few minutes after class. This can be because of any number of reasons: discussing a grade, re-explaining an assignment, or working through some discipline. Either way, the result is the student missing the beginning of their next class. Teachers take attendance promptly at the start of each class; it’s a good way to get kids settled and quiet. So no doubt your student you kept back a few minutes has now been marked absent. No big deal; you write the student a pass, send an e-mail to the teacher, or make a quick phone call: “They were with me.” Fine. Every teacher understands. But now they have to re-open attendance, change the Absent to Present and re-post roll. Sounds simple, but it takes almost a minute and in that time you can lose the focus of a class, plus add in the distraction of the kid coming in late- stopping whatever was going on. If you do this multiple times to a particular teacher… you’re going to owe them for the hassle.
Medium Level
- Can You Keep an Eye on Them?
I heard somewhere that flight attendants and teachers have the highest incidents of bladder infections. It’s because we never have time to pee. There are 4 minutes between passing periods. Once you factor in getting the previous class out the door (collecting papers, giving homework, finalizing disciple issues), getting ready for the next class (organizing papers to be handed out, setting up notes/bellwork, cleaning the board) and add in our responsibility to monitor the hallways during the passing period for student mischief… those 4 minutes fly by with not a spare second to dash all the way down the hall to get some bladder relief. So we rely on other teachers in our hallway. A quick watch glance, make eye contact with your teacher across the hall, and then the question: “Can you keep an eye on them for a minute?” And then you hustle to the bathroom in your glorious bonus minute. Now you owe your neighboring public servant the same favor. And it’s also impolite to ask them to “keep an eye” again until they have asked you for that favor. You have to take turns.
- Available Aides.
At my school, 8th graders can sign up to be a Student Aide during one of their elective periods. Most of the time aides are decently helpful. They can grade worksheets, cut stuff out, in general help with the busy work that sucks the life out of teachers. Aide labor is popular currency. At least once a day a mass e-mail goes out that only contains a subject line: “Anyone have aides I can borrow during __insert class period__??”. You get credit for helping if you send your aide. Sometimes teachers try to cultivate favor by sending out this mass e-mail, “I have a free aide during __insert class period__ who wants them?” And then three minutes later my inbox chimes as it receives the follow-up “Aide Taken!” e-mail.
Highest Level
- Cutting in the Laminate Line.
We have a singular laminate machine that takes any paper and seals it between sheets of plastic to make it slightly more durable against the hands of middle schoolers. With only one laminate machine, when a teacher lets you cut in line to laminate your 50 pieces of paper you need for tomorrow, it’s a favor to remember.
- Helping Un-jam the Copy Machine.
The copy machine is completely vital to teaching, almost embarrassingly so. It’s a complex piece of large machinery that can copy, hole punch, staple, make packets, make things double-sided, one-sided… it makes the education world spin ‘round. The result of these intricate processes is the copy machine innards are a twisted series of labyrinths beyond the average human's understanding. And paper can get stuck literally anywhere inside that thing. I once saw a copy machine jammed in 13 places. Any teacher willing to take time out of their day to sit at the machine and stick their hands into the hot inky depths to yank out scraps of your kid’s worksheets, you owe big time.
- FIGHT.
I’ve been on all sides of this super fun situation. When a teacher has a fight break out in their room, they become suddenly very dependent on other teachers. There are several different ways teachers can help:
-Calling or running to get an assistant principal or the in-school police officer.
-Physically helping to pull apart (and keep apart) the fighters.
-Watching/controlling the rest of the class while the fighters are escorted out.
Fights are great bonding experiences for teachers. Everyone has a good fight story and you always want to be a productive character in their tale, not the useless person who didn’t help. Always step in and help in a fight situation if you can, because odds are you’re going to need your own additional referees at some point in your teaching career.
The core of the barter system is the fact that teachers have an uncanny ability to “keep score.” I mean keeping score in the nicest way possible. I’ll explain.
Teachers have fabulous memories. We have at least 120+ students just in our own classes and we can remember their first and last names, handwriting and voices. Add in multiple assignments, learning goals, lesson plans, assignment modifications, grades and homework- teachers’ brains are always operating at max “remember this” capacity. Our talented memories are what allow us to keep score.
The system functions best as teachers keep track of who owes them a favor, or who they are unquestionably obligated to help next time they’re asked. It’s not at all that teachers won’t assist someone they don’t owe a favor- I’ve definitely picked up on the mentality of the staff that “we’re all in this together” and we do what we can for each other. When I say teachers “keep score,” I don’t mean with points or that someone is winning by helping more. It just goes down like this:
‘Hmmm… this particular teacher picked up my copies for me yesterday. I’ll stop by their room and ask if they need me to grab anything from the lounge, since I’m on my way already.’
‘This teacher let me borrow two dozen mini whiteboards last week, so I’m cool with them asking to borrow my entire stock of glue sticks.’
'I'll sit here and cut out 50 laminated vocabulary words with you during my conference period and not resent it because you helped me cut out my whole new unit's bulletin board two days ago.'
That’s how the system flows. The swapping of favors keeps people feeling like things are fair and I think keeps one’s overall mood pleasant. It’s okay that you need something from me… because eventually I’m going to need something too. If no one ever wanted to help each other, the whole atmosphere and productivity of the school would suffer.
The system is in overdrive because it’s almost Spring Break and teachers are going a little bit crazy. Grades are due Friday, so there are tons of students being kept after class to talk about their scores. The “They Were With Me” e-mails are flying around as a result, along with lots of “I Need an Aide!” e-mails as the different teacher sponsors of school organizations scramble with bureaucratic overload to get things done before the break.
I kind of like the craziness… its like the whole staff is holding each other up as we strive to make it to Spring Break in one piece.
We have our own laws and day-to-day structure of activities. But no currency… no formal one anyway. Teachers do have their own informal barter system of favors.
It took me awhile to catch on to the system. I found myself adapting and using the process before I was even aware of my actions. This week though, with all the craziness before Spring Break, the system has been in overdrive and I thought I’d think out/write down the details.
I tried to think of a clever name for the currency and failed pretty intensely.
My ideas were:
- Teacher Barter System (TBS)- no. That’s a TV station that is basically the Tyler Perry network.
- Teacher Trade Currency (TTC)- no. I feel like that sounds like an STD. “Aw man, I got TTC, gotta get that stupid shot in my butt.”
- Teacher Favor Exchange- no. Too oddly sexual.
Forget it. The system doesn’t need a catchy name. Moving on.
Education is a team sport. True, it’s just you in the classroom but the whole process of successfully putting knowledge into kid’s heads takes a village. Teachers are always in communication with each other and requesting/giving help. Different items of ‘help currency’ carry different levels of weight.
Lower Level
- Borrowing Stuff.
Sometimes teachers endeavor to have their students do an activity for which they require extra “stuff.” Maybe every student needs their own pair of scissors or a red pen. These items can be collected from other teachers as a small favor. Most teams/departments (ex: Social Studies, Math, Fine Arts) are in a constant state of fluidity with stuff drifting from class to class.
- Acts of Convenience.
There are a million little tasks for teachers to complete every day. Acts of Convenience are when another teacher is going to doing something anyway and you ask them to go ahead and do your task too. Examples: checking your box in the teacher’s lounge, picking up completed copies from the copy aide or dropping off a book at the library. These little favors are the bread and butter of the barter system; the most utilized.
- They Were With Me.
Sometimes you need to keep a student for a few minutes after class. This can be because of any number of reasons: discussing a grade, re-explaining an assignment, or working through some discipline. Either way, the result is the student missing the beginning of their next class. Teachers take attendance promptly at the start of each class; it’s a good way to get kids settled and quiet. So no doubt your student you kept back a few minutes has now been marked absent. No big deal; you write the student a pass, send an e-mail to the teacher, or make a quick phone call: “They were with me.” Fine. Every teacher understands. But now they have to re-open attendance, change the Absent to Present and re-post roll. Sounds simple, but it takes almost a minute and in that time you can lose the focus of a class, plus add in the distraction of the kid coming in late- stopping whatever was going on. If you do this multiple times to a particular teacher… you’re going to owe them for the hassle.
Medium Level
- Can You Keep an Eye on Them?
I heard somewhere that flight attendants and teachers have the highest incidents of bladder infections. It’s because we never have time to pee. There are 4 minutes between passing periods. Once you factor in getting the previous class out the door (collecting papers, giving homework, finalizing disciple issues), getting ready for the next class (organizing papers to be handed out, setting up notes/bellwork, cleaning the board) and add in our responsibility to monitor the hallways during the passing period for student mischief… those 4 minutes fly by with not a spare second to dash all the way down the hall to get some bladder relief. So we rely on other teachers in our hallway. A quick watch glance, make eye contact with your teacher across the hall, and then the question: “Can you keep an eye on them for a minute?” And then you hustle to the bathroom in your glorious bonus minute. Now you owe your neighboring public servant the same favor. And it’s also impolite to ask them to “keep an eye” again until they have asked you for that favor. You have to take turns.
- Available Aides.
At my school, 8th graders can sign up to be a Student Aide during one of their elective periods. Most of the time aides are decently helpful. They can grade worksheets, cut stuff out, in general help with the busy work that sucks the life out of teachers. Aide labor is popular currency. At least once a day a mass e-mail goes out that only contains a subject line: “Anyone have aides I can borrow during __insert class period__??”. You get credit for helping if you send your aide. Sometimes teachers try to cultivate favor by sending out this mass e-mail, “I have a free aide during __insert class period__ who wants them?” And then three minutes later my inbox chimes as it receives the follow-up “Aide Taken!” e-mail.
Highest Level
- Cutting in the Laminate Line.
We have a singular laminate machine that takes any paper and seals it between sheets of plastic to make it slightly more durable against the hands of middle schoolers. With only one laminate machine, when a teacher lets you cut in line to laminate your 50 pieces of paper you need for tomorrow, it’s a favor to remember.
- Helping Un-jam the Copy Machine.
The copy machine is completely vital to teaching, almost embarrassingly so. It’s a complex piece of large machinery that can copy, hole punch, staple, make packets, make things double-sided, one-sided… it makes the education world spin ‘round. The result of these intricate processes is the copy machine innards are a twisted series of labyrinths beyond the average human's understanding. And paper can get stuck literally anywhere inside that thing. I once saw a copy machine jammed in 13 places. Any teacher willing to take time out of their day to sit at the machine and stick their hands into the hot inky depths to yank out scraps of your kid’s worksheets, you owe big time.
- FIGHT.
I’ve been on all sides of this super fun situation. When a teacher has a fight break out in their room, they become suddenly very dependent on other teachers. There are several different ways teachers can help:
-Calling or running to get an assistant principal or the in-school police officer.
-Physically helping to pull apart (and keep apart) the fighters.
-Watching/controlling the rest of the class while the fighters are escorted out.
Fights are great bonding experiences for teachers. Everyone has a good fight story and you always want to be a productive character in their tale, not the useless person who didn’t help. Always step in and help in a fight situation if you can, because odds are you’re going to need your own additional referees at some point in your teaching career.
The core of the barter system is the fact that teachers have an uncanny ability to “keep score.” I mean keeping score in the nicest way possible. I’ll explain.
Teachers have fabulous memories. We have at least 120+ students just in our own classes and we can remember their first and last names, handwriting and voices. Add in multiple assignments, learning goals, lesson plans, assignment modifications, grades and homework- teachers’ brains are always operating at max “remember this” capacity. Our talented memories are what allow us to keep score.
The system functions best as teachers keep track of who owes them a favor, or who they are unquestionably obligated to help next time they’re asked. It’s not at all that teachers won’t assist someone they don’t owe a favor- I’ve definitely picked up on the mentality of the staff that “we’re all in this together” and we do what we can for each other. When I say teachers “keep score,” I don’t mean with points or that someone is winning by helping more. It just goes down like this:
‘Hmmm… this particular teacher picked up my copies for me yesterday. I’ll stop by their room and ask if they need me to grab anything from the lounge, since I’m on my way already.’
‘This teacher let me borrow two dozen mini whiteboards last week, so I’m cool with them asking to borrow my entire stock of glue sticks.’
'I'll sit here and cut out 50 laminated vocabulary words with you during my conference period and not resent it because you helped me cut out my whole new unit's bulletin board two days ago.'
That’s how the system flows. The swapping of favors keeps people feeling like things are fair and I think keeps one’s overall mood pleasant. It’s okay that you need something from me… because eventually I’m going to need something too. If no one ever wanted to help each other, the whole atmosphere and productivity of the school would suffer.
The system is in overdrive because it’s almost Spring Break and teachers are going a little bit crazy. Grades are due Friday, so there are tons of students being kept after class to talk about their scores. The “They Were With Me” e-mails are flying around as a result, along with lots of “I Need an Aide!” e-mails as the different teacher sponsors of school organizations scramble with bureaucratic overload to get things done before the break.
I kind of like the craziness… its like the whole staff is holding each other up as we strive to make it to Spring Break in one piece.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Flamingo Shmagino
As I sit here at my desk, I’m pretty sure that’s an intense epic Lord of the Rings style battle going on inside my body. My immune system is dressed in splendid armor, with back up cavalry of vitamin C and sheer determination… clashing against the disgusting disfigured Orcs of sickness courtesy of my students’ snotty hands and wet exploding coughs.
That’s probably the nerdiest depiction of “I think I’m coming down with something” ever and I don’t even really like LOTR. That’s just how I picture my innards defending themselves. Meanwhile I have a fever, sore throat and foggy head.
Today hasn’t been too bad- of all the days to feel sicky this is one of the best. I don’t have to teach much. My Speech classes are giving presentations all day, so I just have to face forward and write all over a rubric. Normally, (I say normally but it hardly EVER happens) I get out of school at 4:05 so I could potentially be in bed resting in a weary coma as soon as 5-ish.
Ooooohh but today.
Today my Media students are staying after school to film a movie project. It’s about zombies and they love it. Of course they love it, they don’t have to do anything but cover themselves in fake blood and run around the school after hours screaming and/or crawling around as the living dead. Meanwhile I do everything else. There are endless logistics to such a large activity. Most of the time I truly don’t mind taking it all on- I love how happy the kids get and I want to foster their creativity. But today… I’d rather be at home.
This week has had some bright spots. My Speech classes presentations are supposed to be a visual demonstration. One student made balloon animals. The one for her final presentation is below.
Clearly it’s a dog. Albeit with a rather freakishly long tail, but still. It’s a balloon representation of a canine, that’s decently obvious.
Now. The other kids in the class were fascinated by the concept of balloon animals. One boy (I’ll call him… Gonzo) borrowed the pump and a balloon.
Gonzo: Miss, what’s your favorite animal?
Me: A flamingo.
Gonzo proceeded to work oddly intensely on trying to make me a flamingo. I got distracted by some other kids and forgot about him to be honest.
But ten minutes later, Gonzo appears at my side. His hands are behind his back. He’s got that “salesman” face that students put on right before they try to convince me to buy a raffle ticket for some organization or try to induce me into believing they need another day for the project that’s due… now.
Gonzo: Miss… I’m not very good at balloon animals.
Me: That’s ok. How did making the flamingo go?
Gonzo: Um…
He sheepishly presented my “flamingo.”
I had to laugh. A lot.
Me: Did it come apart?
Gonzo: It was never together.
Me: Call it abstract art. An abstract flamingo.
Gonzo kind of waggled the poor balloon around with an overly toothy grin.
Gonzo: It’s an abstract flamingo, Miss!
Me: I love it!
Gonzo: Abstractly?
Me: No, for reals.
Gonzo: Ok.
And now I’m the proud owner of the best balloon flamingo I’ve ever seen. ….because it’s the only one I’ve ever seen. Flamingo shmagino.
That’s probably the nerdiest depiction of “I think I’m coming down with something” ever and I don’t even really like LOTR. That’s just how I picture my innards defending themselves. Meanwhile I have a fever, sore throat and foggy head.
Today hasn’t been too bad- of all the days to feel sicky this is one of the best. I don’t have to teach much. My Speech classes are giving presentations all day, so I just have to face forward and write all over a rubric. Normally, (I say normally but it hardly EVER happens) I get out of school at 4:05 so I could potentially be in bed resting in a weary coma as soon as 5-ish.
Ooooohh but today.
Today my Media students are staying after school to film a movie project. It’s about zombies and they love it. Of course they love it, they don’t have to do anything but cover themselves in fake blood and run around the school after hours screaming and/or crawling around as the living dead. Meanwhile I do everything else. There are endless logistics to such a large activity. Most of the time I truly don’t mind taking it all on- I love how happy the kids get and I want to foster their creativity. But today… I’d rather be at home.
This week has had some bright spots. My Speech classes presentations are supposed to be a visual demonstration. One student made balloon animals. The one for her final presentation is below.
Clearly it’s a dog. Albeit with a rather freakishly long tail, but still. It’s a balloon representation of a canine, that’s decently obvious.
Now. The other kids in the class were fascinated by the concept of balloon animals. One boy (I’ll call him… Gonzo) borrowed the pump and a balloon.
Gonzo: Miss, what’s your favorite animal?
Me: A flamingo.
Gonzo proceeded to work oddly intensely on trying to make me a flamingo. I got distracted by some other kids and forgot about him to be honest.
But ten minutes later, Gonzo appears at my side. His hands are behind his back. He’s got that “salesman” face that students put on right before they try to convince me to buy a raffle ticket for some organization or try to induce me into believing they need another day for the project that’s due… now.
Gonzo: Miss… I’m not very good at balloon animals.
Me: That’s ok. How did making the flamingo go?
Gonzo: Um…
He sheepishly presented my “flamingo.”
I had to laugh. A lot.
Me: Did it come apart?
Gonzo: It was never together.
Me: Call it abstract art. An abstract flamingo.
Gonzo kind of waggled the poor balloon around with an overly toothy grin.
Gonzo: It’s an abstract flamingo, Miss!
Me: I love it!
Gonzo: Abstractly?
Me: No, for reals.
Gonzo: Ok.
And now I’m the proud owner of the best balloon flamingo I’ve ever seen. ….because it’s the only one I’ve ever seen. Flamingo shmagino.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Myths of Middle School Minds
It is believed ancient myths and legends came from man looking at his frightening world around him and seeking an explanation, some way to understand. The stars became sparkling magical beings, the stormy sea was Poseidon’s wrath, and death was a decision passed down from the spinners of Fate to claim one’s soul. Having some kind of rationalization for events beyond understanding brings comfort.
This happens in middle school as well as ancient Greece.
Middle schoolers do not act within the realms of human comprehension. They’re volatile, unpredictable and downright odd. I’ve started to pick up on the “rationalizations” teachers put on the students… in some attempt to bring understanding and comfort.
Here’s a list of the excuses/validations/myths/reasons/answers I hear the most. I broke them down into categories because I like making categories in my lists.
Weather
- It’s raining and/or cloudy/grey.
- It’s sunny.
- It’s so cold outside.
- It’s so hot outside.
- It’s supposed to snow.
- It just snowed.
Weather is the most popular category from which to draw blame. (I’ve discovered that teachers with windows in their classrooms are twice as likely to lay fault on Mother Nature.) Basically anything regarding weather, lack of weather or whatever can be used to authenticate student behavior. One morning in the teacher’s lounge, I was engaged in conversation by a fellow teacher who told me:
“Be prepared for some potential craziness today. There’s a full moon tonight. The moon affects the ocean’s tides; it pulls on bodies of water. And student’s brains are over 70% water. So,” she gave me a very knowingly look as she took a dramatic sip of her coffee mug. “Full moon is going to be a’tugging on those guy’s skulls all day.”
As I stood there with her I thought to myself, ‘Aren’t ALL brains mostly water? So the full moon (if any of this is true) would affect EVERYONE’S brain, not just the students.’ Hmm. At least that would explain her behavior.
Palindromes
(I called this category ‘palindromes’ because a palindrome means: a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. These excuses can be flipped either way around and still mean the same thing: a useless excuse)
- The kids are just stuck in their routine, they need something new.
- The kids are just dealing with something new, they need their routine.
- Without elective classes the kids have too much energy.
- The kids have too much energy after going to elective classes.
Palindrome excuses are the most fun when a teacher walks into lunch, sits down and huffs out the first version. Then two minutes later another teacher comes in and says the opposite version. No one truly knows what is going on, we just know the kids are acting crazy. Palindrome excuses are essentially opinions and serve no other purpose than being fun to whine to others.
Days of the Week
- It’s Monday, the kids are zombies after the weekend.
- It’s Tuesday, they didn’t pay attention on Monday, they’re behind.
- It’s Wednesday, the kids are tired in the middle of the week.
- It’s Thursday, the kids know Friday is tomorrow.
- It’s Friday, it’s almost the weekend.
Days of the Week are default-go-to-always-applicable reasons for student behavior. They apply to all classes and any teacher/group(s) of students. It requires very little creativity or mental stretching to blame student behavior on a particular day. A nice fall back statement if all factors are smoothly in place and you can’t find any other reason for the student foolishness.
Personal
- This student is having problems at home.
- This student is on new medication.
- This student needs medication.
- This student needs new accommodations to handle class work.
The personal excuses are the most serious to say because they are difficult to dismiss once they’ve been uttered into verbal existence. Personal excuses are clearly the least frivolous and out of all the previously listed reasons, these are the most likely to not actually be excuses but valid reasons. Tread carefully with this list; you may suggest an excuse without even knowing that it’s really true and happening in that student’s life.
Teacher’s rationalization habits are on my mind because we’re currently slogging- (new favorite word!) through the last school week before Spring Break vacation. When a holiday is approaching or in the recent past it’s a surefire guaranteed scapegoat. I’ve heard (and used myself) all different variations of “It’s almost Spring Break.” Teachers started throwing that one around two or three weeks ago. Don’t even get me started on poor Christmas Break. That 3 week reprieve from school gets totally dumped on from Thanksgiving on into mid-January… when Spring Break picks up the torch.
Sometimes I think these excuses are just easy ways for teachers to avoid placing any responsibility on themselves. It’s much more convenient to throw up your hands and say “I couldn’t teach them anything today because ___insert rationalization here___” than to sit back and analyze your own actions. I know I’m guilty of that habit.
But truly there are times when the kids are just NUTS and there is nothing you can do but hang on for the ride. And that’s when after the glorious bell sounds and the students all stampede away... you put both weary hands on your desk, sigh, and say your rationalization aloud to no one because that is what keeps you from feeling like a failure because you couldn’t tame the adolescent lions. At least today.
I’m going to start simply saying, “There’s always next time.”
This happens in middle school as well as ancient Greece.
Middle schoolers do not act within the realms of human comprehension. They’re volatile, unpredictable and downright odd. I’ve started to pick up on the “rationalizations” teachers put on the students… in some attempt to bring understanding and comfort.
Here’s a list of the excuses/validations/myths/reasons/answers I hear the most. I broke them down into categories because I like making categories in my lists.
Weather
- It’s raining and/or cloudy/grey.
- It’s sunny.
- It’s so cold outside.
- It’s so hot outside.
- It’s supposed to snow.
- It just snowed.
Weather is the most popular category from which to draw blame. (I’ve discovered that teachers with windows in their classrooms are twice as likely to lay fault on Mother Nature.) Basically anything regarding weather, lack of weather or whatever can be used to authenticate student behavior. One morning in the teacher’s lounge, I was engaged in conversation by a fellow teacher who told me:
“Be prepared for some potential craziness today. There’s a full moon tonight. The moon affects the ocean’s tides; it pulls on bodies of water. And student’s brains are over 70% water. So,” she gave me a very knowingly look as she took a dramatic sip of her coffee mug. “Full moon is going to be a’tugging on those guy’s skulls all day.”
As I stood there with her I thought to myself, ‘Aren’t ALL brains mostly water? So the full moon (if any of this is true) would affect EVERYONE’S brain, not just the students.’ Hmm. At least that would explain her behavior.
Palindromes
(I called this category ‘palindromes’ because a palindrome means: a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. These excuses can be flipped either way around and still mean the same thing: a useless excuse)
- The kids are just stuck in their routine, they need something new.
- The kids are just dealing with something new, they need their routine.
- Without elective classes the kids have too much energy.
- The kids have too much energy after going to elective classes.
Palindrome excuses are the most fun when a teacher walks into lunch, sits down and huffs out the first version. Then two minutes later another teacher comes in and says the opposite version. No one truly knows what is going on, we just know the kids are acting crazy. Palindrome excuses are essentially opinions and serve no other purpose than being fun to whine to others.
Days of the Week
- It’s Monday, the kids are zombies after the weekend.
- It’s Tuesday, they didn’t pay attention on Monday, they’re behind.
- It’s Wednesday, the kids are tired in the middle of the week.
- It’s Thursday, the kids know Friday is tomorrow.
- It’s Friday, it’s almost the weekend.
Days of the Week are default-go-to-always-applicable reasons for student behavior. They apply to all classes and any teacher/group(s) of students. It requires very little creativity or mental stretching to blame student behavior on a particular day. A nice fall back statement if all factors are smoothly in place and you can’t find any other reason for the student foolishness.
Personal
- This student is having problems at home.
- This student is on new medication.
- This student needs medication.
- This student needs new accommodations to handle class work.
The personal excuses are the most serious to say because they are difficult to dismiss once they’ve been uttered into verbal existence. Personal excuses are clearly the least frivolous and out of all the previously listed reasons, these are the most likely to not actually be excuses but valid reasons. Tread carefully with this list; you may suggest an excuse without even knowing that it’s really true and happening in that student’s life.
Teacher’s rationalization habits are on my mind because we’re currently slogging- (new favorite word!) through the last school week before Spring Break vacation. When a holiday is approaching or in the recent past it’s a surefire guaranteed scapegoat. I’ve heard (and used myself) all different variations of “It’s almost Spring Break.” Teachers started throwing that one around two or three weeks ago. Don’t even get me started on poor Christmas Break. That 3 week reprieve from school gets totally dumped on from Thanksgiving on into mid-January… when Spring Break picks up the torch.
Sometimes I think these excuses are just easy ways for teachers to avoid placing any responsibility on themselves. It’s much more convenient to throw up your hands and say “I couldn’t teach them anything today because ___insert rationalization here___” than to sit back and analyze your own actions. I know I’m guilty of that habit.
But truly there are times when the kids are just NUTS and there is nothing you can do but hang on for the ride. And that’s when after the glorious bell sounds and the students all stampede away... you put both weary hands on your desk, sigh, and say your rationalization aloud to no one because that is what keeps you from feeling like a failure because you couldn’t tame the adolescent lions. At least today.
I’m going to start simply saying, “There’s always next time.”
Friday, March 4, 2011
Nibbled to Death by Ducks
Nothing huge and eventful has happened this week, just a lot of medium-sized
things. Now on Friday, I’m feeling pretty tired.Things have happened this week ranging from amusing, productive, frustrating or just a weary ordeal.
Monday started the week off right away with a moment that I don’t even know what
category to put it in. You can decide.
My Speech students were due to begin their Commemorative presentations on
Monday. This assignment was given a week and a half ago and we have been doing
nothing but working on it in class the last week.
A student (I’ll call him… Pelzo) came in Monday during morning tutorials time.
He was wearing black slacks and a button down shirt- classic presentation garb.
So I assumed he was ready to give his speech. Silly me.
I promise that the following exchanges all really happened.
Pelzo: Miss! I don’t got anything.
Me: What do you mean?
Pelzo: My speech. I’m not ready, I didn’t write anything.
*pause*
Me: Well. What did you think was going to happen when you came to school on
speech presentation day? You dressed up.
Pelzo: Can you help me?
Me: Help you how? Be specific.
Pelzo: Write my speech. What do I say?
-It’s times like this that my brain tries to violently escape from my
skull. It certainly feels like it’s smashing itself against my forehead in an
effort to flee from the situation.-
Me: Pelzo. We’ve been preparing for this speech for a week and a half. What did
you do in class all last week? Where’s your outline handout I gave you?
Pelzo: I lost it.
Me: The outline?
Pelzo: Everything. Yeah, the outline.
Me: So you wrote a speech and then you lost it. And your outline.
Pelzo: Yeah.
Me: I thought you said you didn’t write anything.
Pelzo: Yeah.
-At this moment I think if there was silence one could have heard the death
rattle of my sanity plunging into the abyss of ridiculousness-
Me: Sit down and write out why someone in your life has impacted you.
Pelzo: Impact? No one hits me.
(Duh. That’s why it’s called ‘knocking some sense into someone.’ You missed
that day)
Me: No- impact like meaningful; who means a lot to you. Write out personal
stories to share about your relationship.
Pelzo: Ok.
Pelzo sits down and I go back to my desk.
*Two minutes elapse*
Pelzo: Miss, you got paper?
Me: Yes. In the bin at the front.
*two more minutes elapse*
Pelzo: Hey Miss, you got a pencil?
- I pause here, and I stare at him for a second. I’m not making any sort of
face, I’m truly just trying to understand.-
Me: Yes. In the bin at the front. With the paper.
Now I thought surely he was up to his quota for the day. Another question
couldn’t come out of him. And I could not have been more wrong. He had been
holding back. He lulled me into a false sense of security by waiting more than
two minutes.
*TEN minutes later*
Pelzo: Miss, what’s Mexico?
Me: What you mean, what’s Mexico? Use more words, please.
Pelzo: Like, what is it? A city?
Me: Mexico City is a city.
Pelzo: No, Miss- like Mexicoooooo.
He then proceeds to stretch his arms out wide to the sides and look at me
quizzically.
Pelzo: Like, big Mexico.
No way. No way. He can’t mean…
Me: Mexico is a country.
Pelzo: Cool.
And I think I just died a little inside. I’m pretty sure I did. I just lost my
gallbladder or something because of that conversation.
Now at the end of the week, the only feeling I have in my body is just “tired.”
It’s not even a productive tired. It’s like getting a slow beat down all week.
Sometimes I feel like I’m being nibbled to death by ducks. A bite on it’s own
doesn’t hurt very much at all (like one question: Can I go to the bathroom? Why
do I have to do this? How old are you?) but multiply that by about a thousand a
day and it takes the life out of you.
Amen for the weekend.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Staff Cook-Off
My school is big into bonding type activities among the staff. Which I quite like, especially when some competitiveness gets mixed in with the bonding- BONUS!
Example: Staff Cook-Off
There were three categories in which to compete:
1. Soup
2. Chili
3. Dessert
(anyone who didn't want to/couldn't cook was instructed to bring 'extras' aka chips, cheese, dip etc)
I'm usually in the 'extras' category at these types of events. I'm not gifted with being able to follow a recipe... all the different 'spoon' measuring references throw me off (table, tea... 1/2 a teaspoon, bleeh) and I get very frustrated when my end result looks nothing like the picture in the recipe book.
But I wanted to make a good impression. I'm basically on a 6 week interview with this long subbing job. Nobody wants to hire the teacher who just drops off a bag of Fritos. Not that there's anything wrong with Fritos; they're salty and curved slightly for maximum dip-holding... just nobody wants Fritos to run a classroom.
My mother happens to be an excellent cook. And she wants me to succeed of course. So she made my favorite soup for me.
To be fair, she was going to be making it anyway, all she had to do was double the batch so I could take some to the cook-off. I was also very careful not to lie at the actual cook-off. I never talked about me making it. I did totally rant about the yummy-ness of kale (a type of cabbage which is DELICIOUS and super good for you and everyone should go get some) in the soup so much that one teacher sitting at the table mused "I've never heard the word 'kale' so much in my life as I have in the last ten minutes." I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.
The name of the soup is Zuppa Tuscana, and it has kale (yum yum), potato and potato skins, sausage, red pepper, onions, garlic, chicken broth, bacon and spices in it. You may have had it at Olive Garden haha. It was big hit at the cook-off. Lunches at my school start in 3rd period and run all the way through 6th. 3rd is my lunch period, so there wasn't much action yet obviously. 6th period is my conference period, so I went back to the teacher's lounge and this is what I found.
My soup had been dominated! Scraped all the way gone. I did notice that though the crock pot was clearly empty, no one thought to switch the heat off and so the remnants got crusted to the bottom. I then was that person who went around and switched all the heats off on the empty pots. Anyway, YAY my soup was all eaten! No better compliment than that. There were some chilis that sadly were still half full.
There were big poster boards in the lounge for people to vote for their favorite soups, chilis and deserts. You can only vote once in each category. I voted for myself for the soup (duh), chili I voted for my friend who asked me too (I'm not a big chili fan... I fear spicy so my vote was totally up for grabs to whoever asked first) and with dessert I voted for a friend's cake, but I was totally in love with these cream cheese oreo balls dipped in almond bark. Don't worry, the oreo balls won by a landslide, as they should have, they were like dessert crack.
As anyone who is on any level a close friend with me knows, I'm a bit of a cheater. Apples to Apples? If I'm playing in a big enough group, I definitely put in more than one red card to boost my odds. Scrabble? I google possible words on my phone under the table. Spades? Me and my partner have been known to peek at the other team's cards when they go to the bathroom.
But I would like to honestly say, I didn't cheat in any manner with the voting. I only voted ONCE for myself in the soup category. And that's what made the end result so ridiculous.
At the end of the day, an e-mail went out with the winners. The Soup Winner: Chicken Fajita.
What!?
First off, chicken fajita is not a soup, it's fajitas! Those go on a grill and get wrapped in tortillas. Not liquefied and simmered in a crock pot to win a cook off.
Oh well. Fair is fair, right?
Till I went down to the lounge after the final bell and saw the tallies.
I know it's a little (ok a lot) difficult to read. But in the middle you can make out my "Zuppa Tuscana" and then second from the bottom nicely circled is the winner, "Chicken Fajita."
Now, let me go ahead and tell you the tally results, since the bright pink poster board is assaulting your eyes.
Zuppa Tuscana: 16
Chicken Fajita: 17
ONE POINT! Ahhhhhh
If I had just smoozed some, talked a few people up for their votes- maybe I would have fared better. Or perhaps the chicken fajita entree was just one point more yummy than mine. At least I had 16 fans!
Or rather my mother did haha, congrats to her!
Example: Staff Cook-Off
There were three categories in which to compete:
1. Soup
2. Chili
3. Dessert
(anyone who didn't want to/couldn't cook was instructed to bring 'extras' aka chips, cheese, dip etc)
I'm usually in the 'extras' category at these types of events. I'm not gifted with being able to follow a recipe... all the different 'spoon' measuring references throw me off (table, tea... 1/2 a teaspoon, bleeh) and I get very frustrated when my end result looks nothing like the picture in the recipe book.
But I wanted to make a good impression. I'm basically on a 6 week interview with this long subbing job. Nobody wants to hire the teacher who just drops off a bag of Fritos. Not that there's anything wrong with Fritos; they're salty and curved slightly for maximum dip-holding... just nobody wants Fritos to run a classroom.
My mother happens to be an excellent cook. And she wants me to succeed of course. So she made my favorite soup for me.
To be fair, she was going to be making it anyway, all she had to do was double the batch so I could take some to the cook-off. I was also very careful not to lie at the actual cook-off. I never talked about me making it. I did totally rant about the yummy-ness of kale (a type of cabbage which is DELICIOUS and super good for you and everyone should go get some) in the soup so much that one teacher sitting at the table mused "I've never heard the word 'kale' so much in my life as I have in the last ten minutes." I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.
The name of the soup is Zuppa Tuscana, and it has kale (yum yum), potato and potato skins, sausage, red pepper, onions, garlic, chicken broth, bacon and spices in it. You may have had it at Olive Garden haha. It was big hit at the cook-off. Lunches at my school start in 3rd period and run all the way through 6th. 3rd is my lunch period, so there wasn't much action yet obviously. 6th period is my conference period, so I went back to the teacher's lounge and this is what I found.
My soup had been dominated! Scraped all the way gone. I did notice that though the crock pot was clearly empty, no one thought to switch the heat off and so the remnants got crusted to the bottom. I then was that person who went around and switched all the heats off on the empty pots. Anyway, YAY my soup was all eaten! No better compliment than that. There were some chilis that sadly were still half full.There were big poster boards in the lounge for people to vote for their favorite soups, chilis and deserts. You can only vote once in each category. I voted for myself for the soup (duh), chili I voted for my friend who asked me too (I'm not a big chili fan... I fear spicy so my vote was totally up for grabs to whoever asked first) and with dessert I voted for a friend's cake, but I was totally in love with these cream cheese oreo balls dipped in almond bark. Don't worry, the oreo balls won by a landslide, as they should have, they were like dessert crack.
As anyone who is on any level a close friend with me knows, I'm a bit of a cheater. Apples to Apples? If I'm playing in a big enough group, I definitely put in more than one red card to boost my odds. Scrabble? I google possible words on my phone under the table. Spades? Me and my partner have been known to peek at the other team's cards when they go to the bathroom.
But I would like to honestly say, I didn't cheat in any manner with the voting. I only voted ONCE for myself in the soup category. And that's what made the end result so ridiculous.
At the end of the day, an e-mail went out with the winners. The Soup Winner: Chicken Fajita.
What!?
First off, chicken fajita is not a soup, it's fajitas! Those go on a grill and get wrapped in tortillas. Not liquefied and simmered in a crock pot to win a cook off.
Oh well. Fair is fair, right?
Till I went down to the lounge after the final bell and saw the tallies.
I know it's a little (ok a lot) difficult to read. But in the middle you can make out my "Zuppa Tuscana" and then second from the bottom nicely circled is the winner, "Chicken Fajita."Now, let me go ahead and tell you the tally results, since the bright pink poster board is assaulting your eyes.
Zuppa Tuscana: 16
Chicken Fajita: 17
ONE POINT! Ahhhhhh
If I had just smoozed some, talked a few people up for their votes- maybe I would have fared better. Or perhaps the chicken fajita entree was just one point more yummy than mine. At least I had 16 fans!
Or rather my mother did haha, congrats to her!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Teacher Props
Today I missed my glasses a little bit.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love, love, love my new eyes. LASIK was one of the best things I’ve ever done. (Here’s the link to my surgery if you’re curious ---> http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150130195486753&comments)
But my glasses were my “teacher prop.”
A teacher prop is something I’ve discovered that all teachers have, whether they know it or not.
We teachers have to stand in front of kids. A lot. Basically all day long. Part of the requirements to be a teacher (at least a successful one who manages to get anything done) is that you be comfortable in front of an audience. And middle schoolers are not just “any” audience. They are often grumpy, bored, disinterested, annoying, distracted or flat-out angry. That isn’t a put-down on my students, it is a fact. Sometimes the audience teachers have to teach in front of is less than totally receptive.
All types of audience issues can be dealt with through classroom management and lots of patience. But while the classroom management plans are being executed, or while day-to-day business is being conducted, a teacher has a teacher prop.
Establishing an authoritative presence doesn’t come easily or quickly. If you act like you’re nervous or unsure in front of the students, they will see the weakness and you’ll have a heck of a time getting them to do anything you want. I think teachers subconsciously use a teacher prop to help them stay focused and confident. Using something to “prop themselves up” to stay in front of the audience.
I’ve seen lots of different teacher props.
Papers: These can be worksheets, attendance sheets, hand-outs, a lesson outline… anything on white standard paper. The number of papers can vary, as many as a stack for a whole class, or a single sheet. This prop has several different applications of use- reshuffling on a podium, desk or cart, held in the hands and tapped with fingers, or clasped against the chest. Holding papers conveys the message that ‘I am a teacher, look at all this work I have for you/myself.’ The paper prop can also be a silent authoritative threat… the class is supposed to be working on an assignment (when this threat is applied, the current assignment could typically be considered ‘fun’) but in case the class gets out of hand, the teacher walks around the room monitoring progress while holding a stack of ‘un-fun’ worksheets that could be given at any moment to a disruptive student. Management via a prop without verbal cues.
Writing Utensil (pen/pencil/dry erase marker): This is an extremely versatile prop. It is able to be kept in hand throughout an entire class period because often a writing utensil is be used during instruction. In down time, a writing utensil can be used for tapping, bouncing between fingers, twirling down by one’s side or rolling between palms- perfect outlets for energy. One of my favorite activities was clicking the cap of an Expo marker half-off, then clicking it back on. I could do that a hundred times while giving a powerpoint presentation. The teacher’s pen is also powerful, able to scrawl anything across student work and have it contain meaning. Pens are also what document grades atop assignments. All students care about grades, whether they will admit it or not. Writing utensils are the most applicable prop.
Hands: Every single teacher has used this prop at some point, because they’re right at the ends of your arms and you just can’t help it. I find great comfort in putting my hands behind my back when I’m lecturing and absentmindedly picking at my fingernails. (I tend to pick at my nails all the time, much to my mother’s dismay) Other hand prop activities can be popping knuckles, tapping fingers or rubbing your hands together. Of all the props, I think this one could most easily backfire and appear as if you are unsure of yourself.
ID/Lanyard: Since I don’t have glasses anymore, this is the prop I’ve used the most. At my school, all students and staff are required to wear ID badges. These badges have the obligatory pixilated poor quality identification photo and hang around everyone’s necks by a basic lanyard in our school’s main color. The ID/lanyard provides a simple outlet for any nervous energy, aka fidgeting. The ID hangs by my waist so it’s easy to just hold onto while I talk, or I can mess with the keys I’ve clipped there for safekeeping. I have to be careful not to go overboard though, or fidgeting with my ID translates nervousness, rather than ‘I’m casual with issuing instructions, I’m just hanging out at the front of the room.’
I loved my glasses. They were in constant use on my face because I feel like they made me look smart. Otherwise I could adjust them delicately with one finger on the side while speaking, or stare sternly over the rims at a student who was being disruptive. I could also take them off and clean them with the edge of my cardigan and then put them back on dramatically if I was trying to make a point. Without my glasses, my face feels sort of naked. I still catch myself trying to adjust glasses that are no longer there.
I don’t think my quality of teaching has suffered because of my lack of lens wear, that would be ridiculous. It’s just that having glasses was a part of my persona as a teacher and now I’m on my way to adjusting to teaching without that prop.
I do still have my glasses at home in a drawer. I should put nonprescription lens in them and pretend sometime.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love, love, love my new eyes. LASIK was one of the best things I’ve ever done. (Here’s the link to my surgery if you’re curious ---> http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150130195486753&comments)
But my glasses were my “teacher prop.”
A teacher prop is something I’ve discovered that all teachers have, whether they know it or not.
We teachers have to stand in front of kids. A lot. Basically all day long. Part of the requirements to be a teacher (at least a successful one who manages to get anything done) is that you be comfortable in front of an audience. And middle schoolers are not just “any” audience. They are often grumpy, bored, disinterested, annoying, distracted or flat-out angry. That isn’t a put-down on my students, it is a fact. Sometimes the audience teachers have to teach in front of is less than totally receptive.
All types of audience issues can be dealt with through classroom management and lots of patience. But while the classroom management plans are being executed, or while day-to-day business is being conducted, a teacher has a teacher prop.
Establishing an authoritative presence doesn’t come easily or quickly. If you act like you’re nervous or unsure in front of the students, they will see the weakness and you’ll have a heck of a time getting them to do anything you want. I think teachers subconsciously use a teacher prop to help them stay focused and confident. Using something to “prop themselves up” to stay in front of the audience.
I’ve seen lots of different teacher props.
Papers: These can be worksheets, attendance sheets, hand-outs, a lesson outline… anything on white standard paper. The number of papers can vary, as many as a stack for a whole class, or a single sheet. This prop has several different applications of use- reshuffling on a podium, desk or cart, held in the hands and tapped with fingers, or clasped against the chest. Holding papers conveys the message that ‘I am a teacher, look at all this work I have for you/myself.’ The paper prop can also be a silent authoritative threat… the class is supposed to be working on an assignment (when this threat is applied, the current assignment could typically be considered ‘fun’) but in case the class gets out of hand, the teacher walks around the room monitoring progress while holding a stack of ‘un-fun’ worksheets that could be given at any moment to a disruptive student. Management via a prop without verbal cues.
Writing Utensil (pen/pencil/dry erase marker): This is an extremely versatile prop. It is able to be kept in hand throughout an entire class period because often a writing utensil is be used during instruction. In down time, a writing utensil can be used for tapping, bouncing between fingers, twirling down by one’s side or rolling between palms- perfect outlets for energy. One of my favorite activities was clicking the cap of an Expo marker half-off, then clicking it back on. I could do that a hundred times while giving a powerpoint presentation. The teacher’s pen is also powerful, able to scrawl anything across student work and have it contain meaning. Pens are also what document grades atop assignments. All students care about grades, whether they will admit it or not. Writing utensils are the most applicable prop.
Hands: Every single teacher has used this prop at some point, because they’re right at the ends of your arms and you just can’t help it. I find great comfort in putting my hands behind my back when I’m lecturing and absentmindedly picking at my fingernails. (I tend to pick at my nails all the time, much to my mother’s dismay) Other hand prop activities can be popping knuckles, tapping fingers or rubbing your hands together. Of all the props, I think this one could most easily backfire and appear as if you are unsure of yourself.
ID/Lanyard: Since I don’t have glasses anymore, this is the prop I’ve used the most. At my school, all students and staff are required to wear ID badges. These badges have the obligatory pixilated poor quality identification photo and hang around everyone’s necks by a basic lanyard in our school’s main color. The ID/lanyard provides a simple outlet for any nervous energy, aka fidgeting. The ID hangs by my waist so it’s easy to just hold onto while I talk, or I can mess with the keys I’ve clipped there for safekeeping. I have to be careful not to go overboard though, or fidgeting with my ID translates nervousness, rather than ‘I’m casual with issuing instructions, I’m just hanging out at the front of the room.’
I loved my glasses. They were in constant use on my face because I feel like they made me look smart. Otherwise I could adjust them delicately with one finger on the side while speaking, or stare sternly over the rims at a student who was being disruptive. I could also take them off and clean them with the edge of my cardigan and then put them back on dramatically if I was trying to make a point. Without my glasses, my face feels sort of naked. I still catch myself trying to adjust glasses that are no longer there.
I don’t think my quality of teaching has suffered because of my lack of lens wear, that would be ridiculous. It’s just that having glasses was a part of my persona as a teacher and now I’m on my way to adjusting to teaching without that prop.
I do still have my glasses at home in a drawer. I should put nonprescription lens in them and pretend sometime.
Friday, February 18, 2011
82 Degrees
Today was the end of my first week long term subbing. (Technically my week was 4 days since I started on Tuesday but oh well).
Yesterday was a fairly difficult day for me due to some miscommunications... But I'm almost glad it happened because it showed me how awesome my co-workers are.
I didn't sleep much last night because I keep replaying the day over and over in my head; you know those times when your brain won't just shut off. I think I dozed for about 4 hours.
In the morning one of my wonderful co-workers brought me a hot chai tea from starbucks. It was the most perfect thing I didn't even know I needed that morning. My eyes were burning when I blinked and my head was equal parts foggy and still lucidly spinning over previous events. The tea was warm and I just stood in one place and sipped it for a good three minutes. I carried that cup of perfection to the copy room, the library... all my morning errands around the school. It cleared my mind and woke me up.
The rest of the day was just as warm as that tea.
Because my room's AC went on the fritz!!
Let me back up and put my day in context.
Every Friday my school shaves 5 minutes off every class period and has a tutoring session to prepare students for state testing. The result is the whole class period order gets a bit shuffled. The kids do not react well to getting jostled out of their routine.
Add that to it being Friday, not only just Friday but the first Friday after a full week without a Snow Day reprieve in 3 weeks. They're already going stir-crazy.
Meanwhile...
My room had been steadily increasing in temperature all day. It started at 7:45am at a normal "empty" 72. I say empty because once a classroom is full of adolescents, the temp shoots up a minimum of 3-5 degrees from I don't know, something like, puberty heat.
10am: 75
Noon: 77
2pm: 79
By 3pm and at the start of my last class of the day my room is registering 82 degrees.
The air is not moving. It's like breathing soup. There was seriously a 10 degree difference between the hallway and the entrance to my room.
Once my some 20-odd Speech students piled into the room the environment became straight up unbearable.
My students are supposed to be working on a testimony/eulogy about a person in their life they cared about. My classroom was so sweltering, the kids were antsy, I just couldn't take it.
Me: "OK! Everyone up! We're going outside!"
I was immediately faced with a bunch of blank stares. My own mind was whirling, hoping that it was indeed okay that I take my band of sweaty students outside out of the sauna.
We went out a side door into a sloped area in the shade of the school. (There are a lot of s's in that sentence...) We sat in a loose circle and went around one by one doing the exercise we would have completed sitting in desks.
The kids got very deep and emotional when talking about a person that meant a lot to them. Anytime that I let myself forget the kinds of lives a lot of these kids have, they remind me in the most profound ways. These 12/13 years old sat in that grassy circle and talked about choosing sides after a divorce (sometimes divorceS), calling 911 in a parking lot while a family member had a heart attack, losing a sibling to death too soon and feeling judged at 12 years old for their "lifestyle choices."
After about 40 minutes we went inside (there was a moment when we realized the side door had locked behind us and I thought I was going to have to traipse through the school's front lobby with my entire class. Then someone opened the door) and the bell rang ending that long Friday and thus the week closed out for me rather quietly.
The Speech classes will be working on these personal speeches for the next week and a half. I'm both concerned and (kind of interestingly) anticipating hearing the completed speeches.
The more time I spend teaching, the more I actually learn from the students.
And I really hope my AC is fixed by Monday.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
My Own Desk (someday)
I decided to change the title thingy of my blog. Because technically... it's not "both sides of the desk" anymore since I have ceased to be a student. At least I ceased in the best possible way aka graduating.
My web address will still be bothsidesofthedesk.blogspot.com because I'm fairly certain that can't be changed. Maybe when/if I go back to school for a masters program (which right now the idea of that makes me want to cry really loud like a toddler) the title can go back to the 'both sides.'
For now I'm going with this catchy little zinger "Not My Own Desk Yet" because... it's true. I'm a substitute, and even though I'm in the best long-term sub job basically EVER- I'm still a substitute. It's still someone else's desk. Which I am totally okay with, I'm beyond blessed to be in my current position. I appreciate this job more than I can say. I'm just changing the title to match the facts. My current status must be reflected in my blog title, duh.
One day I will have my own desk, and that day will be great :)
My web address will still be bothsidesofthedesk.blogspot.com because I'm fairly certain that can't be changed. Maybe when/if I go back to school for a masters program (which right now the idea of that makes me want to cry really loud like a toddler) the title can go back to the 'both sides.'
For now I'm going with this catchy little zinger "Not My Own Desk Yet" because... it's true. I'm a substitute, and even though I'm in the best long-term sub job basically EVER- I'm still a substitute. It's still someone else's desk. Which I am totally okay with, I'm beyond blessed to be in my current position. I appreciate this job more than I can say. I'm just changing the title to match the facts. My current status must be reflected in my blog title, duh.
One day I will have my own desk, and that day will be great :)
Someone had a baby, I get to have a job!
I knew THE phone call would be coming sooner rather than later… my teacher I was long term subbing for was now a full 9 months pregnant and I knew any moment I could get the call that I had to go into work.
I kept my phone with me all day Monday. I didn’t get called for any other job, so I just hung out at home. And by that I mean I laid on the couch and watched my DVR-ed Grammy’s with my phone right next to me.
About 3-ish I felt like all my blood was going flat on one side of my body from being horizontal so long so I decided to do something really adventurous… like go get the mail.
I left my phone inside and went and got the mail. I get back inside.
Missed call from my school.
Thank yoooooou.
I was gone a whole two minutes after I didn’t move from next to my phone for 5 hours. And I miss the call.
No matter. I call back, and YAY as of Tuesday, I’m a long term sub. Report in for duty at 8am.
It’s not till after I hang up the phone that I’m hit with the full knowledge that I’m going to be responsible for three separate classes: yearbook, media and speech. Deep breaths. Not too many… that’ll make you hyperventilate and nobody looks professional heaving into a paper bag.
I was worried I was going to get to school late because I have the cruel luck of being late to every important “first.”
I'm my parent's firstborn but I was born a day late, much to the dismay of my mother who spent the time counting contractions in Home Depot while my father shopped.
I was the very last one of my friends to get boobs in high school. Girls track that sort of thing quite closely. I didn't "woman" myself until the sweet awkward age of like 16 and 1/2.
I woke up 10 minutes before my Ancient Near East 4250 final exam my sophomore year of college.
My alarm didn’t go off my very, very first day of student teaching and I arrived at the school at 10:30 instead of 7:30.
I woke up at 7:45am, the day I was actually supposed to meet my student teaching mentor for my second semester…. at 8:00am.
So anyway, I wanted to avoid that panicked, heart-in-your-throat-this-is-a-terrible-first-impression-I-wonder-if-I-brushed-my-teeth moment on my first day of my long term job(aka a 6 week interview at the school I would love to get hired at).
I left my house with an hour available to make the 23 mile trek. It took me approximately an hour and ten minutes. Just enough to make me late and not enjoy my walk in from the parking lot.
I get inside the school and run into one of the women from administration, who informs me that all the teachers are in a staff meeting in the library and I should just go on in. This makes me a little nervous, but I’m thinking I can just sidle in on the side and stand by the book return in a safe no-notice-me zone.
False.
I walk in and take up a position on the side. Where no one can really see me. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was halfway behind a pillar.
And within minutes, the principal is gesturing the universal ‘come here’ wave with her hand.
At me.
In front of every teacher in the school.
So I walk in a little, as the principal announces who I am, and that I’m here while Mrs. Such-n-Such (not her real name haha) is having her baby. She then proceeds to say that she has seen the great ideas I have given Mrs. Such-n-Such and she thinks I’ll do a great job.
I do the world’s most awkward little half wave to all the full-time employed people eyeballing me, the sub with apparently “great ideas.” *gulp* No pressure here.
I am flattered though. I’d passed along the idea that the yearbook students could work on a blog for the school after the yearbook is completed next week. The principal sent me an e-mail in the morning with a green light to go ahead. I used my lunch break to draft up a blog site and sent it to her. Her verdict: “Looks good. Do it.”
I was excited. The day was a little bit of a struggle as I worked to get my feet under me. Managing 3 very different classes within one schedule was just as much of a challenge as I thought. I did have some very helpful teachers in my hall that were lovely support.
I did have some tech issues, and Mrs. Such-n-Such called me from the hospital and after happily declaring that “the baby should be here in about two hours, but I’m on some really good drugs” proceeded to walk me through her website and fixed the problem I’d been wrestling with for two hours in two minutes.
The most humorous thing happened in my last class of the day. It was a Speech class. The students have a blank outline for a generic speech, and they are to come up with a topic of their choosing and back it up with details.
The following went pretty much like this:
(This is between me, and a male student with thick foreign accent. I’ll call him… Norberto. Forgive me as I try and capture Norberto's accent in written form)
Norberto: I don’t nah wut to write aboot.
Me: Anything that you want. What’s an issue that is important to you?
*pause*
Norberto: Pandah burrs smokenn cigarettes.
*pause*
Me: What?
Norberto: Pandah burrs smokenn cigarettes.
Me: Um. Ok. Uh, you care about panda bears?
Norberto: No. Well, I sarw ahh Asian smokenn once, and dahh’s like the same theng.
*pause*
Me: Are you serious?
Norberto: Yuss.
At that point I truly did not know what to say… so it was very lucky that at that moment another student called for my attention. I didn’t go back over near Norberto for the remainder of the class. I genuinely didn’t know what to say! He has a difficult face to read; add that on top of the accent and I was looking at a closed book… in Greek or something. Definitely a language I don’t know.
Good thing I get to spend the end of every day with him, figuring out if he really thinks Asians are panda bears.
Overall I’m very excited about these coming 6 weeks. I enjoy having my days full. And of course I get lots of stories to tell. It is kind of comforting to be back in the school I student taught at.
Mostly I was just happy that in my 1 ½ minute time slot to pee between classes I already knew where all the bathrooms are.
I kept my phone with me all day Monday. I didn’t get called for any other job, so I just hung out at home. And by that I mean I laid on the couch and watched my DVR-ed Grammy’s with my phone right next to me.
About 3-ish I felt like all my blood was going flat on one side of my body from being horizontal so long so I decided to do something really adventurous… like go get the mail.
I left my phone inside and went and got the mail. I get back inside.
Missed call from my school.
Thank yoooooou.
I was gone a whole two minutes after I didn’t move from next to my phone for 5 hours. And I miss the call.
No matter. I call back, and YAY as of Tuesday, I’m a long term sub. Report in for duty at 8am.
It’s not till after I hang up the phone that I’m hit with the full knowledge that I’m going to be responsible for three separate classes: yearbook, media and speech. Deep breaths. Not too many… that’ll make you hyperventilate and nobody looks professional heaving into a paper bag.
I was worried I was going to get to school late because I have the cruel luck of being late to every important “first.”
I'm my parent's firstborn but I was born a day late, much to the dismay of my mother who spent the time counting contractions in Home Depot while my father shopped.
I was the very last one of my friends to get boobs in high school. Girls track that sort of thing quite closely. I didn't "woman" myself until the sweet awkward age of like 16 and 1/2.
I woke up 10 minutes before my Ancient Near East 4250 final exam my sophomore year of college.
My alarm didn’t go off my very, very first day of student teaching and I arrived at the school at 10:30 instead of 7:30.
I woke up at 7:45am, the day I was actually supposed to meet my student teaching mentor for my second semester…. at 8:00am.
So anyway, I wanted to avoid that panicked, heart-in-your-throat-this-is-a-terrible-first-impression-I-wonder-if-I-brushed-my-teeth moment on my first day of my long term job(aka a 6 week interview at the school I would love to get hired at).
I left my house with an hour available to make the 23 mile trek. It took me approximately an hour and ten minutes. Just enough to make me late and not enjoy my walk in from the parking lot.
I get inside the school and run into one of the women from administration, who informs me that all the teachers are in a staff meeting in the library and I should just go on in. This makes me a little nervous, but I’m thinking I can just sidle in on the side and stand by the book return in a safe no-notice-me zone.
False.
I walk in and take up a position on the side. Where no one can really see me. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was halfway behind a pillar.
And within minutes, the principal is gesturing the universal ‘come here’ wave with her hand.
At me.
In front of every teacher in the school.
So I walk in a little, as the principal announces who I am, and that I’m here while Mrs. Such-n-Such (not her real name haha) is having her baby. She then proceeds to say that she has seen the great ideas I have given Mrs. Such-n-Such and she thinks I’ll do a great job.
I do the world’s most awkward little half wave to all the full-time employed people eyeballing me, the sub with apparently “great ideas.” *gulp* No pressure here.
I am flattered though. I’d passed along the idea that the yearbook students could work on a blog for the school after the yearbook is completed next week. The principal sent me an e-mail in the morning with a green light to go ahead. I used my lunch break to draft up a blog site and sent it to her. Her verdict: “Looks good. Do it.”
I was excited. The day was a little bit of a struggle as I worked to get my feet under me. Managing 3 very different classes within one schedule was just as much of a challenge as I thought. I did have some very helpful teachers in my hall that were lovely support.
I did have some tech issues, and Mrs. Such-n-Such called me from the hospital and after happily declaring that “the baby should be here in about two hours, but I’m on some really good drugs” proceeded to walk me through her website and fixed the problem I’d been wrestling with for two hours in two minutes.
The most humorous thing happened in my last class of the day. It was a Speech class. The students have a blank outline for a generic speech, and they are to come up with a topic of their choosing and back it up with details.
The following went pretty much like this:
(This is between me, and a male student with thick foreign accent. I’ll call him… Norberto. Forgive me as I try and capture Norberto's accent in written form)
Norberto: I don’t nah wut to write aboot.
Me: Anything that you want. What’s an issue that is important to you?
*pause*
Norberto: Pandah burrs smokenn cigarettes.
*pause*
Me: What?
Norberto: Pandah burrs smokenn cigarettes.
Me: Um. Ok. Uh, you care about panda bears?
Norberto: No. Well, I sarw ahh Asian smokenn once, and dahh’s like the same theng.
*pause*
Me: Are you serious?
Norberto: Yuss.
At that point I truly did not know what to say… so it was very lucky that at that moment another student called for my attention. I didn’t go back over near Norberto for the remainder of the class. I genuinely didn’t know what to say! He has a difficult face to read; add that on top of the accent and I was looking at a closed book… in Greek or something. Definitely a language I don’t know.
Good thing I get to spend the end of every day with him, figuring out if he really thinks Asians are panda bears.
Overall I’m very excited about these coming 6 weeks. I enjoy having my days full. And of course I get lots of stories to tell. It is kind of comforting to be back in the school I student taught at.
Mostly I was just happy that in my 1 ½ minute time slot to pee between classes I already knew where all the bathrooms are.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Deja Vu
It's a Wednesday, and we're having yet another Snow Day. In the last two weeks, we've had 5 snow/ice days off.
At midnight last night, I sat in my room and listened to the howling wind. (I decided that wind is pretty scary. You can't see it, you can't control it and it does a lot of damage. Invisible danger!) I checked the weather on my phone:
100% chance of snow
High of 27, Low of 10
And yet at midnight, my school district had yet to post that they were closed.
I went to bed with my phone right beside me (like always) but I was not expecting a sub call.
And sure enough, I awoke to a world of white. And a whole heck of a lot of wind. The snow was so powdery that the wind was whipping it up around and all over the place. It was impossible to tell if the snow was falling up, down or whatever. Another winter wonderland. Yay.
I haven't subbed in like two weeks, but I'm trying not to get discouraged.
My long-term sub job is still on the books as far as I know. My friend is definitely having her baby on the 14th; if it won't come on it's own, she's getting induced. (Way to show that baby whose the boss) And don't judge me for calling the baby an "it", that's not my fault. The parents have elected to not find out the sex. So to avoid saying 'the baby, the baby' over and over, I have to resort to the pronoun of 'it.' I hope 'it' is a pronoun or else I just made myself sound pretty dumb...
Tomorrow we're supposed to get some sunshine and above freezing temperatures, so here's fingers crossed for global warming to kick into gear.
At midnight last night, I sat in my room and listened to the howling wind. (I decided that wind is pretty scary. You can't see it, you can't control it and it does a lot of damage. Invisible danger!) I checked the weather on my phone:
100% chance of snow
High of 27, Low of 10
And yet at midnight, my school district had yet to post that they were closed.
I went to bed with my phone right beside me (like always) but I was not expecting a sub call.
And sure enough, I awoke to a world of white. And a whole heck of a lot of wind. The snow was so powdery that the wind was whipping it up around and all over the place. It was impossible to tell if the snow was falling up, down or whatever. Another winter wonderland. Yay.
I haven't subbed in like two weeks, but I'm trying not to get discouraged.
My long-term sub job is still on the books as far as I know. My friend is definitely having her baby on the 14th; if it won't come on it's own, she's getting induced. (Way to show that baby whose the boss) And don't judge me for calling the baby an "it", that's not my fault. The parents have elected to not find out the sex. So to avoid saying 'the baby, the baby' over and over, I have to resort to the pronoun of 'it.' I hope 'it' is a pronoun or else I just made myself sound pretty dumb...
Tomorrow we're supposed to get some sunshine and above freezing temperatures, so here's fingers crossed for global warming to kick into gear.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Brrrrr!
Whoever said that global warming is an impending threat on humanity can go stand out in my frozen driveway and turn into a permanent icicle.
I'm currently fighting off the cabin fever of two back-to-back snow days. Or should I say "ice days" as in at least an inch of powdery frozen death covering every surface. And hooray- we get another Ice Day tomorrow.
So the week went:
Monday- no sub call. I stay home.
Tuesday through Thursday- Ice Days
Friday- maybe work?
Oh bother. Snow days are only fun if you can still do everything you want, like a bonus Saturday in the middle of the week.
However.
These Ice Days have not been bonus Saturdays. We have had joys such as:
- power outages (resulting in the satellite having to reset itself every 20 minutes which means *gasp* nothing records)
- I don't know if this is a normal side effect of power surges/outages but the smoke detectors beep in very loud protest which in turn causes Chester to freak out. Seriously, I don't think Chester stopped pacing and whining for a good hour.
- the roads are frozen, encased under a layer of hardcore ice. Usually on snow days the snows gone by noon-ish and you can go shopping or over to people's houses. No. We are stuck.
- we have intense winds during the night, which shoved the huge new grill off the patio.
Funny thing about the grill. My Mom and I discovered it laying on it's side like a wounded animal. Our patio is elevated about two and a half feet at the point where the grill made it's fall. Luckily it was resting against a sturdy tree right next to the patio, but the gas line connecting the grill to the house seemed stretched rather taut.
I don't know what happens when a gas line gets ripped out, but I don't want to find out. So my mother (fresh out of the shower and in my dad's workboots and sweats) and me (in a hoodie and Ugg slippers) have to get this grill back on the patio.
This grill is not small. It's a big hulking silver beast designed to flame meat into tasty submission. And the beast is not going anywhere easily. It takes Mom standing behind it and me tugging at the top and using the edge of the patio as a fulcrum (how smart are we!?) to tilt the grill back relatively into place without blowing up.
It wasn't until we went back inside that we discovered the funniest fact about our little adventure. Mom's wet hair was no longer wet; it was frozen. Literally, I'm not exaggerating, her tendrils of hair were now brunette icicles.
All in all I can say with total honesty: I'd rather be teaching little gangsters than hauling frozen outdoor cooking equipment around.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I'm a Teacher
Friday was interesting to say the least.
I got called by the sub-finder system around 6am... for a high school job that started at 11am and ended at 2:30pm.
Hmm. I think to myself. If you take a job that starts before noon, it counts as a full day of work. AKA- I get paid for the whole day and I get to sleep in and work only three-ish hours.
I accept the job, thinking I've really lucked into something here. Little did I know...
So I got to sleep in (glorious!), and around 10 I got up to head to the school. This school is a high school in my district, and also the most "ghetto" of all the schools. Worst reputation. There are over 3,000 students. People say "oooh" in a pity voice when you say you're going there. It's got the toughest students and the most stretched out facilities.
No big deal to me. I'll be in Junior level English, and I'm not doubting that the students will be given some sort of busy work and I'll just have to make it through the time. I'm not bothered by gangsters, whether they're 12 or 17.
The classroom is what I expected... too small and cramped for the number of students shoved inside. The teacher's desk is overflowing with papers; if it's organized it's in a system I can't recognize. The teacher is a large overweight man with a narrow face (ironic). He verbally informs me that the students are to sit in their groups and read their assigned books. He then leaves the room, telling me casually over his shoulder that in the next period I will have a "co-teacher" because that class is difficult.
Now. I'm not opposed to co-teaching. I have been lucky enough to have experienced it succeeding with my wonderful mentor teacher from my final semester. We worked together through some really tough classes, trading off the duties of instructing, enforcing discipline, modeling work and grading.
So I'm open minded to this co-teacher.
The bell rings, and in comes the co-teacher. She's about mid-forties I'm sure but looks like she's pushing sixty. She has a scowl on her face and crazy thinning old-man hair... I'm a little afraid. She looks like she'd bite me.
She comes over to me and stands by me in the entry to the room.
"My name's Marvis, this is my third day in here. And just so you know," she said in no effort to whisper. "These kids are total turdballs."
Turdballs? Really.
1. Who even uses that word? That sounds like something one of my geekier 7th graders would say.
2. Why are you announcing this loudly to me?
I give her some sort of vague nod and step away to go get the attendance sheets. I don't want to make assumptions about a class before I've met them. Plus I'm turned off by the fact that a grown adult used the word 'turdballs' at all, let alone to describe students.
The kids (I don't know if I can really call them kids, they are all at least 16 and some look much older than that. Over half of them are at least taller and/or all around bigger than me) come in and there are the usual declarations of joy that there's a sub in the room. One girl with a massive lip ring pokes me in the shoulder and in an actual whisper tells me "Marvis is shit crazy." I give her a smile that I hope is equal parts "thanks for telling me- and -okay that's your opinion."
I get the class quiet by the method of just standing at the front of the room calmly leaning on the teacher's podium... just smiling a little and tapping the attendance sheet in my hand. It takes so much less effort than yelling and the students feel awkward with me just staring at them and so they get quiet in a few minutes.
So I start to call roll; "Axel Alvarez?"
Marvis doesn't like what's going on with the students. My roll call is interrupted by her sharp voice, "Rosa! Don't slouch! Sit up!"
The students all titter and make comments and I've lost the quiet I had obtained. I mentally frown at Marvis. Who cares if she's slouching? How does that bother me calling roll?
I resume calling names and am halted twice more by Marvis snapping at a student to stop leaning back in their chair and another to stop looking out the window.
Finally finally finally roll is finished and now is the time for me to give the students their assignment. I try to keep a casual air about it, telling the students that they are supposed to read but if they aren't going to read, there's no way I can make them and all I ask is that they do something else for school or put their head down. The point is not to disturb others who want to read. It's their choice.
I've used this strategy before, mostly in student teaching classes but it's turned out to be infinitely useful in subbing. I've found that when you're really upfront about the expectations and then give students multiple choices, they usually pick the objective you want them to do anyway.
Marvis really dislikes this. She is glaring at me from across the room as I'm speaking and a second after I've concluded she clears her throat obnoxiously. "No! That's not what you guys are supposed to be doing, you have to read." She stares at me. "There are no other options to do something else or put your head down. You don't get naps."
The kids are protesting this loudly and I don't even know what to say. The kid's objections are getting more boisterous.
"Why you so bossy?"
"But my math crap is due next period!"
"We get to choose!"
"Nah miss, you heard the teacher!"
That last remark must have been the last straw on Marvis' back. "You heard the teacher."
She gives the student that dared to utter such a remark a scathing glare then points her finger right at me.
"She is a substitute, I am a teacher!!"
Whoa.
Um, okay.
I don't even know what to do, or say. I stay rooted to my spot by the podium as the class erupts into protests.
There's the obligatory chorus of loud 'ooooooooo's into fists over their mouths making the background to comments such as "Marvis, that's messed up!" and "Why you play like that?"
Internally I'm wrestling down the dual emotions of 'don't cry' and 'don't yell at the bitch.' The result is I'm just standing here like a doofus. Probably only about 30 seconds to a minute went by but to me it felt like a sampling of eternity.
Eventually the kids pull out their books and I decide to busy myself with going around helping them with vocabulary on the opposite side of the room as Maniac Marvis. I make up my mind to ask politely to speak to her after class (this class is split awkwardly into two halves with a 30 minute lunch break in the middle) and politely tell her I was offended by her comment. Politely.
The bell rings for the lunch break and I manage to deftly intercept Marvis before she makes it out the door. The following went a little like this.
Me: Excuse me, I know you probably didn't mean it offensively (I know you did) but I took offense to your comment "you're a substitute and I'm a teacher.' I am a teacher. I graduated from the University of North Texas, I've been in this district for over a year.
Marvis: You have to understand, I need the authority in the classroom and you don't.
What!? What!? Are you serious?!
Me: Well I believe there is room for shared authority... that's what co-teaching is about. And authority doesn't come from verbal declarations. These kids don't respond to that.
Marvis: I have worked with these kids for a long time, I know how to deal with them!
And then like the big ol' grown up that she is, Marvis stormed out of the room in the middle of our conversation.
I stand there for a second, processing. The first thing that catches my mental eye is that she said 'I've worked with these kids for a long time'... didn't she tell me she's only been with this group of students for a few days? Whatever. I just can't believe an adult can act the way that this woman has acted. What a disgrace to teachers everywhere.
I go sit and call my mother because I have to talk to someone. I tell her everything that has happened. She advises me to report Marvis to the sub coordinator in the front office. If Marvis is this crazy, no doubt there's a file on her.
I'm nervous about this. The women at the front offices of schools can be a very tight-knit bunch. If Marvis is a friend of theirs or married to one of their brothers or something then reporting Marvis could mean being blocked from anymore sub jobs in this school. Ever.
But she was way too rude. Marvis- you're getting reported.
I use my Resident Assistant training (haha, it comes in so handy sometimes) and write up an incident report-style documentation of my experience so far with Marvis.
That takes up most of the lunch break. By the time I finish, the bell rings to bring back the students. And Marvis.
However, there are no more problems- seeing that Marvis just completely ignores me. She makes no acknowledgment of me when she enters the room. I remain at the teacher's desk. I pull out a book to read. If she wants the class, she can have the class. The students miraculously remain calm and the rest of class passes uneventfully. When the final bell rings, Marvis books it out of there before any of the kids even get up.
All the kids flee the room like it's on fire, which is normal. However- one boy who was sitting near my desk comes and stands by me. He has something to say and he gets right to the point.
Boy: Miss, are you a Christian?
Me: Um, yes. Why do you ask?
Boy: I can tell you are by how you acted after Marvis yelled at you.
He then just turns around leaves, before I can say anything else. I didn't even get to ask him if he was Christian or to say thank-you. I'm so surprised. I think I literally said "whoa" to the empty classroom. Maybe that was the whole point of me getting yelled at, to demonstrate Christian behavior to a group of teenagers.
The rest of my very short school day goes quickly. I don't have a co-teacher to deal with for the remaining two classes. The kids sit and read. All I do is work on refining my Marvis Report.
When school is over, I take my little handwritten report down to the sub coordinator. She's a chipper lady with bejeweled glasses, spiky black hair and red lipstick. She takes the rest of my sub paperwork and asks me how my day was. I hesitate, then proceed to tell her that some offensive comments were made to me by my co-teacher.
She gives me a very knowing look and says "Yes, Marvis was down here earlier." She put both her palms up and shook her head a little. "That woman does not represent our school. I am so sorry you had the experience you did. Let's see what else we can get for you to make it up to you."
So she books me a all-day job next Wednesday and makes a copy of my Marvis Report. She smiles at me and tells me not to think badly of their school as I leave.
What a very interesting day.
I was expecting a 3 hour workday to be my easiest sub job ever. Instead it turned simultaneously into the worst and best experience I've had so far. I was totally demeaned by a woman who needs to be introduced to Rogaine and must have been absent when common decency was being handed out, and yet my reactionary behavior (or lack thereof) prompted God to be shown through me.
And then I got another sub job out of it and made a friend of the sub coordinator.
What a very interesting day.
I got called by the sub-finder system around 6am... for a high school job that started at 11am and ended at 2:30pm.
Hmm. I think to myself. If you take a job that starts before noon, it counts as a full day of work. AKA- I get paid for the whole day and I get to sleep in and work only three-ish hours.
I accept the job, thinking I've really lucked into something here. Little did I know...
So I got to sleep in (glorious!), and around 10 I got up to head to the school. This school is a high school in my district, and also the most "ghetto" of all the schools. Worst reputation. There are over 3,000 students. People say "oooh" in a pity voice when you say you're going there. It's got the toughest students and the most stretched out facilities.
No big deal to me. I'll be in Junior level English, and I'm not doubting that the students will be given some sort of busy work and I'll just have to make it through the time. I'm not bothered by gangsters, whether they're 12 or 17.
The classroom is what I expected... too small and cramped for the number of students shoved inside. The teacher's desk is overflowing with papers; if it's organized it's in a system I can't recognize. The teacher is a large overweight man with a narrow face (ironic). He verbally informs me that the students are to sit in their groups and read their assigned books. He then leaves the room, telling me casually over his shoulder that in the next period I will have a "co-teacher" because that class is difficult.
Now. I'm not opposed to co-teaching. I have been lucky enough to have experienced it succeeding with my wonderful mentor teacher from my final semester. We worked together through some really tough classes, trading off the duties of instructing, enforcing discipline, modeling work and grading.
So I'm open minded to this co-teacher.
The bell rings, and in comes the co-teacher. She's about mid-forties I'm sure but looks like she's pushing sixty. She has a scowl on her face and crazy thinning old-man hair... I'm a little afraid. She looks like she'd bite me.
She comes over to me and stands by me in the entry to the room.
"My name's Marvis, this is my third day in here. And just so you know," she said in no effort to whisper. "These kids are total turdballs."
Turdballs? Really.
1. Who even uses that word? That sounds like something one of my geekier 7th graders would say.
2. Why are you announcing this loudly to me?
I give her some sort of vague nod and step away to go get the attendance sheets. I don't want to make assumptions about a class before I've met them. Plus I'm turned off by the fact that a grown adult used the word 'turdballs' at all, let alone to describe students.
The kids (I don't know if I can really call them kids, they are all at least 16 and some look much older than that. Over half of them are at least taller and/or all around bigger than me) come in and there are the usual declarations of joy that there's a sub in the room. One girl with a massive lip ring pokes me in the shoulder and in an actual whisper tells me "Marvis is shit crazy." I give her a smile that I hope is equal parts "thanks for telling me- and -okay that's your opinion."
I get the class quiet by the method of just standing at the front of the room calmly leaning on the teacher's podium... just smiling a little and tapping the attendance sheet in my hand. It takes so much less effort than yelling and the students feel awkward with me just staring at them and so they get quiet in a few minutes.
So I start to call roll; "Axel Alvarez?"
Marvis doesn't like what's going on with the students. My roll call is interrupted by her sharp voice, "Rosa! Don't slouch! Sit up!"
The students all titter and make comments and I've lost the quiet I had obtained. I mentally frown at Marvis. Who cares if she's slouching? How does that bother me calling roll?
I resume calling names and am halted twice more by Marvis snapping at a student to stop leaning back in their chair and another to stop looking out the window.
Finally finally finally roll is finished and now is the time for me to give the students their assignment. I try to keep a casual air about it, telling the students that they are supposed to read but if they aren't going to read, there's no way I can make them and all I ask is that they do something else for school or put their head down. The point is not to disturb others who want to read. It's their choice.
I've used this strategy before, mostly in student teaching classes but it's turned out to be infinitely useful in subbing. I've found that when you're really upfront about the expectations and then give students multiple choices, they usually pick the objective you want them to do anyway.
Marvis really dislikes this. She is glaring at me from across the room as I'm speaking and a second after I've concluded she clears her throat obnoxiously. "No! That's not what you guys are supposed to be doing, you have to read." She stares at me. "There are no other options to do something else or put your head down. You don't get naps."
The kids are protesting this loudly and I don't even know what to say. The kid's objections are getting more boisterous.
"Why you so bossy?"
"But my math crap is due next period!"
"We get to choose!"
"Nah miss, you heard the teacher!"
That last remark must have been the last straw on Marvis' back. "You heard the teacher."
She gives the student that dared to utter such a remark a scathing glare then points her finger right at me.
"She is a substitute, I am a teacher!!"
Whoa.
Um, okay.
I don't even know what to do, or say. I stay rooted to my spot by the podium as the class erupts into protests.
There's the obligatory chorus of loud 'ooooooooo's into fists over their mouths making the background to comments such as "Marvis, that's messed up!" and "Why you play like that?"
Internally I'm wrestling down the dual emotions of 'don't cry' and 'don't yell at the bitch.' The result is I'm just standing here like a doofus. Probably only about 30 seconds to a minute went by but to me it felt like a sampling of eternity.
Eventually the kids pull out their books and I decide to busy myself with going around helping them with vocabulary on the opposite side of the room as Maniac Marvis. I make up my mind to ask politely to speak to her after class (this class is split awkwardly into two halves with a 30 minute lunch break in the middle) and politely tell her I was offended by her comment. Politely.
The bell rings for the lunch break and I manage to deftly intercept Marvis before she makes it out the door. The following went a little like this.
Me: Excuse me, I know you probably didn't mean it offensively (I know you did) but I took offense to your comment "you're a substitute and I'm a teacher.' I am a teacher. I graduated from the University of North Texas, I've been in this district for over a year.
Marvis: You have to understand, I need the authority in the classroom and you don't.
What!? What!? Are you serious?!
Me: Well I believe there is room for shared authority... that's what co-teaching is about. And authority doesn't come from verbal declarations. These kids don't respond to that.
Marvis: I have worked with these kids for a long time, I know how to deal with them!
And then like the big ol' grown up that she is, Marvis stormed out of the room in the middle of our conversation.
I stand there for a second, processing. The first thing that catches my mental eye is that she said 'I've worked with these kids for a long time'... didn't she tell me she's only been with this group of students for a few days? Whatever. I just can't believe an adult can act the way that this woman has acted. What a disgrace to teachers everywhere.
I go sit and call my mother because I have to talk to someone. I tell her everything that has happened. She advises me to report Marvis to the sub coordinator in the front office. If Marvis is this crazy, no doubt there's a file on her.
I'm nervous about this. The women at the front offices of schools can be a very tight-knit bunch. If Marvis is a friend of theirs or married to one of their brothers or something then reporting Marvis could mean being blocked from anymore sub jobs in this school. Ever.
But she was way too rude. Marvis- you're getting reported.
I use my Resident Assistant training (haha, it comes in so handy sometimes) and write up an incident report-style documentation of my experience so far with Marvis.
That takes up most of the lunch break. By the time I finish, the bell rings to bring back the students. And Marvis.
However, there are no more problems- seeing that Marvis just completely ignores me. She makes no acknowledgment of me when she enters the room. I remain at the teacher's desk. I pull out a book to read. If she wants the class, she can have the class. The students miraculously remain calm and the rest of class passes uneventfully. When the final bell rings, Marvis books it out of there before any of the kids even get up.
All the kids flee the room like it's on fire, which is normal. However- one boy who was sitting near my desk comes and stands by me. He has something to say and he gets right to the point.
Boy: Miss, are you a Christian?
Me: Um, yes. Why do you ask?
Boy: I can tell you are by how you acted after Marvis yelled at you.
He then just turns around leaves, before I can say anything else. I didn't even get to ask him if he was Christian or to say thank-you. I'm so surprised. I think I literally said "whoa" to the empty classroom. Maybe that was the whole point of me getting yelled at, to demonstrate Christian behavior to a group of teenagers.
The rest of my very short school day goes quickly. I don't have a co-teacher to deal with for the remaining two classes. The kids sit and read. All I do is work on refining my Marvis Report.
When school is over, I take my little handwritten report down to the sub coordinator. She's a chipper lady with bejeweled glasses, spiky black hair and red lipstick. She takes the rest of my sub paperwork and asks me how my day was. I hesitate, then proceed to tell her that some offensive comments were made to me by my co-teacher.
She gives me a very knowing look and says "Yes, Marvis was down here earlier." She put both her palms up and shook her head a little. "That woman does not represent our school. I am so sorry you had the experience you did. Let's see what else we can get for you to make it up to you."
So she books me a all-day job next Wednesday and makes a copy of my Marvis Report. She smiles at me and tells me not to think badly of their school as I leave.
What a very interesting day.
I was expecting a 3 hour workday to be my easiest sub job ever. Instead it turned simultaneously into the worst and best experience I've had so far. I was totally demeaned by a woman who needs to be introduced to Rogaine and must have been absent when common decency was being handed out, and yet my reactionary behavior (or lack thereof) prompted God to be shown through me.
And then I got another sub job out of it and made a friend of the sub coordinator.
What a very interesting day.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Finally....
Brace yourselves.
I actually substitute taught on Friday. And by that I mean I watched kids read. Let me explain.
I didn't have high hopes of getting called in. I went to bed late Thursday night and when I was trying to sleep I was battling a dry cough- a present from mother nature after spending a few too many hours one night in the freezing smokey air of Lucky Lou's (no regrets). At 6am when I got up for water I debated getting teacher-ed up... but seriously didn't think I'd get called. I had delicious liquid lunch plans (queso + margaritas) with friends and further plans to stimulate the economy at Northpark. I won't get called in this Friday. I drank some water and went back to bed.
I remembered that Friday is the #1 workday for subs when I was awakened by my phone buzzing. It's either the sub-finder system or someone who hates me seeing as how my clock is informing me it's 7:45am.
It's the sub-finder.
Do I want to come in for middle school athletics?
I pause.
I ponder.
I play the job description again.
Athletics?... No. I really don't want to give up sleep, queso, margaritas and shopping for public school sports. I decline the job.
I know I said I would take any job. But today I have fun plans and I've only logged approximately 3 hours of sleep. And it's athletics.
I set my phone down on my nightstand.
Where it promptly buzzes immediately.
The sub-finder is determined this morning. The job is 7th grade language arts, at the middle school I did my first semester of student teaching at. There's sadly no reason not to accept this job. It's my grade level, easy subject, and I already know how to get there.
For the first time I hit #1- accept job.
Suddenly my morning became a living tornado of finding shoes and swabbing on mascara while simultaneously brushing my teeth- a juggling act I perfected in my dorm days when I tended to wake up 10 minutes before class started.
Me: (hollering down the stairs) "Mom! Please make me a lunch real quick, something that doesn't require a microwave in case I eat in the classroom!"
Mom: (pause) "That's nothing!"
Me: "Sandwich, Mom! Sandwich!"
I get ready in an impressive single digit amount of time. I grab my lunch, get in the car and zip down the highway. That early morning ended up being the most exciting part of my day.
I arrive at my school and enter a creepily barren classroom. The walls are devoid of decorations except for one awful poster:
That's pretty horrible. I can't even muster up a critique because that being the only thing on your room's walls is so awful.
Anyway,
There are no personal items on the teacher's desk. Not a single photo, knick-knack, goofy pin, letters from students- nothing! I've never seen such a desk... so empty. Usually teachers throw personality onto every possible surface. In one of my previous student teaching classrooms we even taped posters to the ceiling.
This room is like an insane asylum cell... with desks. Like learning is supposed to take place. It got weirder... I opened the desk drawer to get a pen, and this is what I found:
Ok.
Ok.
That's freaky.
That lone solitary folder? Yeah. It's full of blank computer paper. Those little squares of paper in the top right? Manufacturing stickers from whoever made the desk. The side drawers of the desk were completely empty.
Besides the serial killer vibe, the day wasn't so bad. But it also wasn't so 'good.' It was straight-up boring.
The kids had the assignment to read an article (silently) and complete a worksheet (silently on their own). So basically I watched kids read and write. And I stared at the freaky poster. That kid looks unhappy...
During my conference break, a fellow substitute working across the hall came to check on me. I lamented about my boring day and he looked at me with a puzzled face.
"You're supposed to bring a book," he said- like he was telling someone the sky was blue or dogs can talk or something else super obvious.
So I did end up learning something on that sub job. Even though the substitute pool currently has a higher percentage of qualified, intelligent teachers (all waiting to find 'real' jobs) the other nitwits in the system have spoiled it for the rest of us. Teachers view having a sub as a throw-away day. Just find some idiot-proof busy work for the kids to slog through while the sub functions as a warm adult 'authority' figure who just sits all day.
And apparently reads.
Now this was only my first substituting experience, I am keeping an open mind.
We'll see how this goes.
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